Great furballs of fire!

Posted on December 3, 2010 by thepogblog

I started the evening sitting on the sofa thinking that nothing of any note was likely to happen this weekend what with all the snow and the fact that I am village bound.  Lighting a Christmassy candle and settling into the weekend though, I thought that an uneventful weekend was probably something I could manage (remote working is great when you don’t want to go in the office – not so great when you desperately want a snow day!).

And then Charlie caught fire.

A few minutes prior to the smoking cat incident

I thought that supervising the first whisker singeing would be sufficient to teach the boys that you stay away from candles (this is the first candle they have been able to get close to).  Apparently not.  A few minutes after the singeing incident, there was a horrible smell, a smoking Charlie and a marginally interested Norman. 

The good news is that all I had to do was pat his fur out (rather than throw him outside into a pile of snow as per my plan B) and the only lasting effects seem to be two slightly shorter, rougher patches on either side of him.  I can confirm though, that burning cat fur is unlikely to ever be the scent of a fragranced candle in the future…

We are now all looking forward to an uneventful weekend.  We hope :o)

PS:  Totally unrelated, but I thought you’d like to see the lengths that my neighbours have gone to get out of the road:

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Oh Lordy!

Posted on December 2, 2010 by thepogblog

Most people have probably seen enough of the white stuff, but earlier I ventured  out to take some photos for posterity.

Flaw 1: Wellies were in the car boot.

and that's where the car was...

Flaw 2:  I have no shovel (and had the same problems with getting to the shed as getting to the car)

and that's where the shed is (at the end)...

Flaw 3:  Believing that if I was going to get icy shoes getting the wellies, I might as well get as little as possible soggy.  I therefore rolled up my trousers to make shorts and wore my slippers through the snow that was up to my knees.

yes, really.

Flaw 4:  Due to lack of shovel, thinking a hand brush would help.  Then discovering I’d lost the hand brush (I blame Norman) and having to use the dustpan to try to dig out the boot of my car.

Success!

Once I’d negotiated around these issues though, it was actually rather nice out there (in the bits where the snow didn’t go over the top of my wellies).  So sorry if you’ve had enough of it, but after that, I’m damn well putting some photos up here!

I think these two probably have the right idea... :o)

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It’s still coming around…!

Posted on December 1, 2010 by thepogblog

This ‘what goes around comes around’ business seems to be speeding up and it is very jolly lovely.

On Tuesday a lovely colleague who reads this gave me a good giggle (and it was a real one that scared the cats rather than one of those that just stays in your head).  One of the things I do at work is send out surveys, check the answers and present the findings.  On Tuesday I was checking the responses to the question: 

Please use this space for any additional comments you would like to leave on how we could improve future sessions

The answer lovely colleague left?

homemade jam and cookies would be lovely

 I think I’ll be removing that before I present to management.  Or maybe not…it may liven things up a little.

checking out the advent calendar

Also on Tuesday, on the way back from my morning swim, the advent calendar fairy intercepted me and asked me to deliver calendars to Sisters 1&2.  Amazingly, the fairy did exactly the same to Sisters 1&2 later in the day and as a result, both the boys and I have an advent calendar (only I have to unfortunately eat their chocolates…)

This morning, utter panic descended on Pog Towers.  Like most of the UK, we are covered in deep white stuff here – far too deep to be trying to drive the car or even to walk without wellies.  Panic started at the exact moment that I realised the only chocolate in the house was in the advent calendars.  And frankly, even if I took it all out, that would be insufficient for the requirements of a Pog.  It was a similar panic to that when I used to get down to my last 40 cigarettes… (I gave up in January and definitely replaced nicotine with chocolate). Anyway, I mentioned the predicament to Sister 2 on the phone this morning and at lunch time a Yeti rung my doorbell.  The sweety had walked the couple of miles from her house to mine via a local shop to stock me up!  I felt terrible, but she kindly pointed out that it was in return for all the times I’d delivered her cookies and her favourite homemade cheesy bites on the bike…

As if that wasn’t enough I just looked out the window to see if the snow is still coming down.  Someone, I assume one of my (slightly terrifying) next door neighbours, has cleared and gritted the path to my door.  I’ll be venturing down that path tomorrow at some stage to the local shop for some cookie ingredients so I can thank them.  What goes around comes around after all :o)

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Being stunned, an almost drowning and iciness…

Posted on November 29, 2010 by thepogblog

I am stunned.  Stunned I tell you.  Today at the pool I nearly drowned (well, I got water up my nose, had a spluttery panic, discovered I was in the only 5cm of the pool that I can’t stand, had another small panic and lost my footing for about 10 seconds).  The stunning thing about this is that the life guard actually noticed.  And had the cheek to ask me not to do it again as I’d worried him a bit. 

This is amazing as I’d become convinced that as all the life guards are of an age where they probably shouldn’t have left primary school, let alone secondary and got a job, they don’t notice anything actually happening in the pool.  Instead they are having competitions to see how much of their pants they can show above their shorts and flirting outrageously with their female counterparts. (I know, I know, I am old and out of touch!)

I do the splutter-snortle / drowning thing most times I swim possibly because I can only swim breaststroke and can only do that if my neck is at full stretch and my head as far from the surface of the water as is possible (a little like an arthritic duck).  In this position, the act of breathing seems to invite water into my airways.  Sister two has suggested goggles, nose clip and a snorkel but we thought that might be overkill in the local pool.

I’ll stop complaining and keep my neck up.  I should be happy.  I was taught to swim by my parents.  Who can’t swim and don’t go in water much above their knees, so the fact that I can do a length without really scaring the lifeguard is a bit of a miracle!  :o)

Nothing to do with the post but taken yesterday and, I thought, rather lovely...

...just very icy!

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Attempting Domestic Pogess Status

Posted on November 28, 2010 by thepogblog

I am a Pog of my word, and as such I have spent the last four hours making a mess that the kids I looked after on Friday night would be impressed with.  However, I am now the proud owner of 6 pots of jam in two different flavours (apricot and blueberry & passion fruit) :o)

I’d like to say that my colleague was right when she confidently assured me that ‘any idiot can follow those books – they’re dead simple’ (referring to the one that arrived anonymously in the post last week).  What I can say is that she was almost right.  I only had to phone Pog’s-jam-making-help-hotline (my mum and dad) three times and I have to say that lovely neighbour chose just the right time to lock herself and her family out the house and have to come over for the spare key…

There are a couple of lessons that I have learned from this experience:

  • Norman can open packets of apricots
  • Norman gets very territorial over the one apricot that he liberates
  • The only way to get blueberry stains off your work surface is with ‘Cif, a brillo pad and some elbow grease’ (thanks mum)
  • When the recipe says to put a saucer in the freezer to test whether the jam sets it means before the jam is on it.  Put a saucer with jam on it in the freezer and all you achieve is frozen jam drops on your fish fingers
  • A glade candle disguises the smell of burnt sugar and fruit after about 3 hours
  • To avoid the small of burnt sugar and fruit in the first place it’s probably best to invest in a bigger saucepan.  Or just a second saucepan (yes, I only have one, but I firmly believe in minimal washing up so I rarely need another as all my meals are made in one pot).

I’m not quite a domestic goddess, but I’ll give myself the title of domestic Pogess if it is ok with you.  Having sat down with a cup of tea, toast and some of the freshly prepared jam I’m stunned to be able to say that it’s actually rather lovely! :o)

tea, toast and a spot of home made jam, anyone?

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The 1.5 hour mum

Posted on November 26, 2010 by thepogblog

It is -4.5 degrees outside.  I have just got in from pretending to be a mum to the three children of my lovely neighbour whilst watching the Christmas lights being turned on in Bumpkinstown (very close to Bumpkinsville).  Well, we would have watched the lights being turned on had we not been at the far end of WHSmith.  (I had convinced myself that either their hands would drop off in the cold or I would loose one of them so I felt that was a warmer and safer place than outside).  Yes, we missed the event we went to see…

We did brave it outside long enough for me to demonstrate that I may be able to drive a car but I am completely incompetent when it comes to pushing buggies.  As a result, a lot of the population of Bumpkinstown can expect sore ankles tomorrow.

1.5 hours later and I have a renewed respect for all of my friends who are mums and a warm feeling in my tummy that, unlike them, I will get a lie in tomorrow :o)

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Lessons learned the last few weeks

Posted on November 25, 2010 by thepogblog

I just thought I’d share these in case they should come in useful:

  • Don’t tell the vet not to worry about getting all the poo off the cats as you can always Febreeze them when you get home.  She may not get your humour and think you actually do use air freshener to help them smell ‘cotton fresh’.
  • At the swimming pool, do make sure that you take the door on the right to the ladies toilets and showers rather than the door on the left to the men’s toilets and showers.  If you do take the left option and happen to walk in on a naked man showering, reverse quietly.  Do not say ‘oooh, you’re not a ladies toilet’ (and therefore getting his full attention) before backing out. 
  • Do not tell the above story to a couple of female colleagues in front of your easily embarrassed male boss.  Although the various shades of red that one man can turn are quite interesting. 
  • Don’t forget when you go to the toilet at work that you are at work.  Just because at home you can wander out the bathroom while still rearranging your tights and flashing your knickers, it’s not a great move to forget yourself and do it at the office.                  
  • Do smile at the lovely, very elderly lady at the pool who wears lipstick the exact same shade of pink as her hat (she is so cute!)  The memory of her winking at you every time you swim past will keep you smiling all day :o)

No reason - I just like it :o)

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What goes around comes around – in happy parcels

Posted on November 23, 2010 by thepogblog

It’s not often that the postman brings me niceness and because I’m probably not alone in that I like sending other people happy parcels via snail mail.  Today though, the tables were turned and I have had a very smiley day as a result.  Today I got some anonymous post.  This:

:o)

I was sent a jam making book!  (If this seems slightly odd, you might want to check out these blogs entries.)  It has made my day and my week, and no doubt will make my weekend as I fully intend to make an attempt at one of the recipes then. (I am just trying to get through vast quantities of Nutella and marmalade before then so I have some jars to put it in!)  I think I know who the mystery senders are – thank you so much, you lovely, thoughtful people. 

Writing this I have realised that I never properly thanked my own personal cookie fairy.  When I was sick recently a certain very lovely Bikers’ Friend Mummy provided me with the most delicious squares of chocolately gorgeousness.  I would like to add a photo of them but they didn’t last that long!  Thank you too for your loveliness – it was almost worth being poorly for!

So maybe what goes around really does come around.  It’s not why I send little happy parcels out, but it is a very, very nice side effect :o)

(Feel free to copy the happy parcel idea…it’s the same idea as cookie fairy delivery with very small postable gifts.  For me they have included all manner of things from bars of chocolate to daft hand puppets to key rings.  Just something to show friends that someone is thinking of them…the more people that do it, the more smiles there will be around :o) )

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Disaster of a Past Un-Fatness Plan

Posted on November 22, 2010 by thepogblog

The un-fatness plan is not going as anticipated.  Initially I put on 4 pounds, then lost 6 and now, having put on two I am back to where I started.  Today I briefly considered unearthing the ankle weights buried under my bed to add them to the plan.  Then I remembered the last time I tried to use them…

 …I decided to invest in some sandbag type affairs that can be Velcro-ed around your wrists or ankles.  I dismissed the feeling that they would be put to better use in areas of flooding than attached to me and dug out some deliciously un-flattering Lycra (well you have to look the part…). 

Lucifer (my old cat – the one intent on world domination, but now planning this from the cat basket in the sky) stared in disbelief as I struggled, cowboy like to the back door, holding on to walls for support and pushed myself though a series of step ups using the door step.  He stared in wonder as I transferred the sandbags from ankles to wrists and waved my arms around in an approximation of arm exercises.  He then gave up and went to inspect the garden rather than put me through the embarrassment of having a spectator observe any more of my antics.

A week or so later, I decided to push myself a little further and pulled a small stool into the middle of the lounge.  Right in the middle, so I couldn’t cheat and hold on to a wall.  Lucifer, relaxing on the sofa, stretched and yawned in my direction (cat speak I think, for ‘I sense some entertainment coming, you have a small portion of my attention for now.’)  Sandbags strapped in place I launched myself, in a rather wobbly fashion, onto the stool.  Lucifer sat up in horror.

I managed a couple of step ups before something odd happened.  Balanced precariously on the stool I found I could not move my ankles.  Joining Lucifer’s gaze at my feet, the problem dawned on us at the same time; the straps had slipped and I had successfully Velcro-ed my ankles together.  We simultaneously took a deep breath.  Mine to attempt to dull the panic, Lucifer’s, I assume to demonstrate his incredulity.

the slightly unsupportive Lucifer

‘Any chance of a hand here?’ I asked, from my self inflicted pedestal.  No response seemed forthcoming other than a shift in his position on the sofa.  ‘I’ll take that as a no then.’  I tried to slowly, slowly peel my ankles apart.  He was absolutely no help in saving me from my predicament and was far from the supportive male presence I wished for at that moment.  Still, there is an upside, had he been the ‘supportive male’ I wanted, he probably would have whipped out the camera and demonstrated my stupidity to all my friends at the earliest opportunity. 

To save myself being stranded on a stool again perhaps I’ll give the current un-fatness plan a bit more of a chance.  After all, what can possibly go wrong…? :o)

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A Lack of Labradors

Posted on November 21, 2010 by thepogblog

This has been quite an animal orientated weekend covering both Arghs and Ahhs (Thank you Teacher Ems for defining the difference between the very similar noises). 

The Arghs

The boys and I had to visit the vets for worming (them) and weighing (also them, but I jumped on the dog scales to see how they compared with my set at home.  Not favourably it turned out…even when I stood on one leg).  Anyway, as is usual, the boys had a panic on the way there, pooed in the cat carrier and by the time we arrived they were liberally covered in the stuff.  As this is a regular occurrence we were shuffled into a room for me to clean them up.  Unfortunately at this point the only option was to wash them in the sink which Norman took offence to and, soaking and soapy shot up my arm, over my shoulder and into the hood of my top.  I had to be rescued / have Norman extracted by one of the nurses.  Charlie was equally unimpressed but at least we had got it over with.  Or so I thought. 

(Incidentally, to explain the Labrador reference, the vet mentioned that Norman may well be a Labrador in disguise.  This is due to his size (apparently ‘fat fur’ is not a generally accepted condition) and the list of food I gave her of things he will fight me for (bran flakes, raw mushrooms, avocado skin, dry weetabix and most recently, photographs).  Charlie just has an obsession with pansies.  Less of an issue but a little irritating as he has removed and eaten all the flowers on those I planted last week.  Incase you don’t know, bith Charlie and Norman are cats.  Not Labradors.)

The poo incident occurred again on the way home so we had a repeat washing performance only this time they both shot out the cat flap in their soaking state.  That would have been fine had it not been a cold day but as it was they ended up scaring themselves (and me briefly) by steaming on the back step…

They got their own back though.  I assume to demonstrate their disgust at the proceedings they decimated this:

...and they're still at it...

The Ahhhs

Sister 1 and Brother in Law (BiL) picked up the lovely little lump of gorgeousness that is Lola.  I spent a few hours today cuddling, playing and trying to encourage her to fetch her ball of puppy proportions (ping pong rather than tennis sized).  She is not a Labrador either.  She’s a Beagle.  And I can’t wait to see her again :o)

ahhh!

ahhh!

ahhh!

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