I am stunned. Stunned I tell you. Today at the pool I nearly drowned (well, I got water up my nose, had a spluttery panic, discovered I was in the only 5cm of the pool that I can’t stand, had another small panic and lost my footing for about 10 seconds). The stunning thing about this is that the life guard actually noticed. And had the cheek to ask me not to do it again as I’d worried him a bit.
This is amazing as I’d become convinced that as all the life guards are of an age where they probably shouldn’t have left primary school, let alone secondary and got a job, they don’t notice anything actually happening in the pool. Instead they are having competitions to see how much of their pants they can show above their shorts and flirting outrageously with their female counterparts. (I know, I know, I am old and out of touch!)
I do the splutter-snortle / drowning thing most times I swim possibly because I can only swim breaststroke and can only do that if my neck is at full stretch and my head as far from the surface of the water as is possible (a little like an arthritic duck). In this position, the act of breathing seems to invite water into my airways. Sister two has suggested goggles, nose clip and a snorkel but we thought that might be overkill in the local pool.
I’ll stop complaining and keep my neck up. I should be happy. I was taught to swim by my parents. Who can’t swim and don’t go in water much above their knees, so the fact that I can do a length without really scaring the lifeguard is a bit of a miracle! :o)