A Return to Dating. Again.

Posted on February 22, 2013 by thepogblog

I was going to maintain a dignified silence on this, but frankly, I’m not dignified and rarely quiet so…Tonight, I’m off on a first date!  It’s a bit of a long story but essentially, about a year ago I signed up to an Introduction Agency.  I had one pretty horrendous date but then a few days later I met TTB and we went out for a while.  In that time I invoked the ‘holiday’ I could take from the Agency…and then TTB saw the light and hurtled towards it (and away from me )  :o(

So, I signed myself back up.  I imagined it would be a fair while before I was given a match – and was kind of hoping so if I’m honest – but…  within a week I was sent a profile, had a phone call and tonight I’m off for a drink. GULP.

I’ve spent a good part of the last week panicking about the fact that this bloke has to contend with me (clearly a bit of a trial based on past experience) and the fact that I wear a wig, but then some good friends have pointed out to me that I am a looong way from having to worry about the latter, and they are right.  I’m not entirely comfortable that I’ll be lying by omission, but the option of whipping Bradley off half way through a vodka and lemonade isn’t really much of an option.

It’s taken a concerted effort but I have now moved from the rather unique panic-that-I-am-going-on-a-first-date-and-I-wear-a-wig to the more standard panic-that-I-am-going-on-a-first-date.  I have washed my hair (It’s been drying in the bathroom all day) and shaved my head (how weird is that? – I felt like it was the required preparation!), and now I’m wondering whether I can get away with wearing a thermal vest under the top I’m about to iron.  No?  Well I suppose it is a date.  Actually, sod that.  It’s freezing cold and I’ll be wearing a wig.  Having a thermal vest on is going to be the least of my worries!

Wish me luck – please! :o)

teds

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The potential of furry paws

Posted on February 19, 2013 by thepogblog

You know how when you use that stuff on your cat (and dog?) to prevent them getting nasties like fleas and they HATE it?  I now understand their pain.

Because I pulled my hair out for such a long time (if this is something new to you, read back to this post) there are patches that are refusing to grow back – presumably because I have terrified them into submission.  So yesterday I thought I’d go to Boots to see if there was anything the pharmacist could recommend.  I’m pretty sure when I asked if I could go to the special private room for some advice she wasn’t expecting me to pull off Bradley and announce I had no hair.  Poor woman.

Anyway, it turns out there are a few things that might help – one being ‘Regaine for Women’.  You just spray it on your head and rub it in (clockwise stimulates hair growth apparently – I did ask if anti clockwise would make it retreat but I think I scared her a little bit more at that point).  You do this twice a day.  Worryingly, you must make sure you wash your hands well afterwards to ensure that you don’t end up with ‘unwanted hair growth’.  That would be just my luck – a bald head and furry hands…

So this morning I sprayed, rubbed and washed my hands like I was about to perform surgery and started work.  And then the smell hit me.  It’s not really strong, it’s just really….there.  And you cannot get away from it.  And it lingers.  For hours.  Which is rather annoying as you have to do it twice a day.

I do see why Norman cat throws himself towards the cat flap as soon as I get the Frontline out now though.  At least he only has to put up with it once every month.  Still, if it works it will be worth it.  And if I end up with furry paws comparable with his, you’ll know why :o)

norman

A happy Norman cat

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The importance of clear instructions

Posted on February 15, 2013 by thepogblog

Sometimes you need to make sure you’re really clear with your instructions.

When I told the postman that he could always leave parcels behind the white board I have on my front door step I never really imagined I’d come home to this:

parcel

I assumed he realised I meant ‘if they fit’.  Clearly not.  But never mind, nobody snaffled them thankfully!

And Wednesday night I made a cake for the birthday of some colleagues at work.  This in itself was quite impressive as my baking is rather hit and miss, to put it mildly.  After an incident with the icing sugar and electric mixer I actually had to wash the contents of the fruit bowl and hoover myself down.  However, I was able to send this mail to my back up (in case it all went so wrong that she had to whip something up instead)

mailThen I decorated the cake.  When I got to work the next morning I realised the importance of punctuation.  Rather than saying ‘Love, Us’ it had turned into rather a bossy instruction to ‘LOVE US’.  Still, it was Valentine’s Day, so I guess it was almost ok. :o)

cake

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A disappointing experience with nasal hair trimmers…

Posted on February 12, 2013 by thepogblog

When I bought my clippers to shave off my hair, they came with a nasal hair trimmer.  It didn’t take long to work out that I might be able to use them in some way.  Sadly the plan didn’t quite….go to plan.

I thought I’d be able to use it to get Sister 2 to draw pretty pictures in my stubble (I know, nobody would see it, but it would have amused me that I was being a bit alternative under Bradley – as if the fact that I have a shaved head under a wig was not alternative enough…)  She did try, and if you squint, screw up your nose, put your head on one side and look really hard you can just see a lightening bolt.

clippers 1

We gave up at this point and just went for the more traditional shaving.  But Sister 2, being Sister 2, would not be entirely defeated.  So she made me a smiley face with the trimmings.

clippers 2

I just thought I’d share that with you on a chilly Tuesday evening :o)

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A bit of a humph

Posted on February 11, 2013 by thepogblog

When you have to drive through your icy village at 20mph to get to the station you should probably consider whether you really need to go to the office.  When you see a snow plough it’s worth further consideration (all I could wonder was whether it had got lost en route to the US.  We had ice, yes, but I didn’t think a few inches of snow was worth getting a plough out for).  When the first two trains out the station are cancelled (meaning an hours wait to find out if the third one has any intention of arriving) it’s time to start listening to the signs.  So I did.  I drove home.  And the car broke down on the way.  It’s definitely been a day that would have been better had I started it at 7am rather than ‘achieved’ all of the above by then.

Anyway, enough moaning – I was lucky in that my car has been fixed and I didn’t quite have to take out a second mortgage to fix it.  And walking home from the garage I got to take these quite pretty pictures.

DSCN1511

DSCN1500

And: I’m not a sheep (they must be freezing without two pairs of socks and boots that are essential in this weather) :o)

DSCN1507

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Contributions to chaos

Posted on February 8, 2013 by thepogblog

Pog Towers, my house, is in pretty much a constant state of chaos.  This means that certain family members and friends contact me to let me know when programmes are on TV covering hoarders.  Hilarious.  I have discovered this week though that it is not entirely my fault.  Ok, the boxes of cottons, embroidery threads, buttons, ribbons and bags of material can’t really be down to anyone else, but there is someone else who lives here, and this week I have caught him contributing to Pog Tower chaos.

Here we have Norman removing socks from my sock draw and leaving them on the floor:

cat2

And when he couldn’t distract me from working by trying to remove the screen…

cat3

…he knocked all my papers off the table and liberally spread them around the floor.

cat4

We had words.  He promptly went to sulk on top of my wardrobe.

cat1

So there you have it – photographic evidence that it’s not just me that is responsible :o)

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Mobile Man

Posted on February 6, 2013 by thepogblog

Anyone who commutes knows people don’t make eye contact on trains, let alone talk (unless it’s snowing at which point all rules are broken).  Not so tonight – I have just had a very entertaining train ride home.  It feels a bit wrong to be posting it here as one of my ‘blog rules’ is that I shouldn’t achieve smiles at the expense of others (apart from my family who, as I’ve said before, are fair game) but I’m sorry, this man kind of deserves it.

So tonight I got on the train, found a seat and realised a man, we’ll call him Mobile Man, was on his phone very loudly.  This is nothing unusual but the first sentence I heard was ‘you’ll never guess what his text said’, and I was hooked.  I wanted to know.  And this is what happened next:

Mobile Man: it said ‘how open minded are you?’

And now I really wanted to know what was coming next.  Judging by the surreptitious glances from other commuters they wanted to know too.

Mobile Man: Well, I said I was pretty open minded but I didn’t expect the next text

<eye catching occurred around the carriage as we waited to find out>

Mobile Man: it said he wanted a hot steamy shower with me and then to rub me all over with oil!

<all sorts of expressions crossed faces>

Mobile Man: of course I told him I was no gay, although I admit to being very good looking

<Everyone looked at him.  Men looked quizzically at women.  Women all shook heads, smirking slightly at his belief in his looks>

Mobile Man: I mean, he’s in his 60’s.  He’s old

<Man in 60’s sitting next to me informed me that ‘actually that isn’t old these days’.>

Mobile Man: And then he asked me not to repeat it, and of course I won’t tell anyone

<around 20 commuters muttered simultaneously ‘except us’>

He then went on to give almost enough details about his admirer for each of us pretending not to listen in, but hooked on every word, to identify the poor bloke at 50 paces.  And then, just as he got of at his station he finished the call with….wait for it…

Mobile Man: Bye Nan.

The second he stepped off the train those of us left all turned to each other…NAN?! Comments included ‘well she’s pretty open minded it would seem’ and ‘no wonder he shouted so much – she’s probably deaf’.  And the rest of us just looked amazed, dazed and laughed.

So the lesson is:  Don’t hold loud private conversations in public places unless you’re up for people listening in.  And don’t be a little bit mean about people in loud private conversations unless you are ok with the possibility of others doing the same to you.  :o)

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A bit of everything

Posted on February 5, 2013 by thepogblog

Ok, I know you’re not all sitting there waiting for my next blog post, but sorry for the lack of them over the last little while.  It’s all been a bit bonkers.  The sort of thing that has been going on includes:

  • I’ve stopped one neighbour putting a brick through another neighbours car window and releasing the handbrake (yes, really).
  • I’ve discovered Norman cat is a transvestite. Well, my mascara went missing overnight and there’s nobody else who could have snaffled it.
  • I’ve been perfecting the design of a teddy bear
take 1

take 1

take 2

take 2

take 3 - nearly there!

take 3 – nearly there!

  • I’ve dreamed of a time machine so I actually have enough time to do the day job, sew and sleep (if anyone has a spare one hanging around in the shed, I’ll pay good money.  Not much, but good money).

And Sister 1 got married!  This in itself could provide content for a few posts but the highlights for me were:

  • Hearing that as she got out of the car that took her to the reception her words were not of excitement or romantic sentiments….no, they were ‘I need to pee!’ (She is 7.5 months pregnant to be fair)
  • Sister 2 and I doing a reading.  Happily she managed not to change ‘meet’ to ‘mate’ in her part (as she managed to in every practice) and I managed to get through the part that made me giggle for no good reason (as I had in every practice).  Unfortunately I did get a bit tongue tied and ended up blowing a raspberry part way through before apologising to everyone.  I’m so classy.
  • Sister 2 walking elegantly out of the ceremony only to fall down the stairs, cut her elbow and rip her tights (ok, maybe not a highlight but she was laughing rather than crying so it’s kind of funny)
  • Dad attempting to use his father-of-the-bride speech to sell some of the stick insect eggs that Mrs Stick Insect has laid.
mrs si

she is quite large!

  • Losing my hair.  I tell you, it’s one thing to come back to a table and think you’ve lost your camera or something.  It’s quite another to come back and realise that your hair has gone walkabout!  (I’d taken off Bradley after a white wine too many and he had been borrowed…)
  • It’s also the only wedding I’ve ever been to were a burlesque dancer performed.

burlesque

  • Seeing Sister 1 and the flower girls carrying the button kissing balls I made for them
this contains 1200 buttons, 1200 pins and took about 10.5 hours. Definitely a one off (or three off)!

this contains 1200 buttons, 1200 pins and took about 10.5 hours. Definitely a one off (or three off)!

Congratulations Sister 1 and your Painted Man (he’s a tattoo artist).  Not long before two become three :o)

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Lessons of the Week

Posted on January 25, 2013 by thepogblog

It’s been one of those manic weeks where I’ve known everything would be just fine, as long as I could grow an additional brain, another pair of arms and locate an extra 24 hours in every day. We’ve all had weeks like it.

I’ve learned a few things though:

1) Sister 1 can be very brave. We made her go out for dinner like this:


1blog

2) A great way to meet people is to spend a while dancing enthusiastically with one of these:

2blog

(NB: If you walk into a restaurant (before the dancing) with one, the people on the table closest will move.)

3) Matching one Mini Egg for one grape as your dinner does not make a balanced diet.  It’s just a recipe for feeling a bit sick.

4) Even if you shave your head every three days you can end up with a curly side and a straight side. (Yes, really)

5) That moisturiser that calls itself ‘Ultra-lift’?  I’ve always wondered where it lifts to and imagined that under your hairline there is a lot of wrinkly skin being gathered up.  I can confirm that’s not the case.  In fact, I’m not convinced it’s lifting anything.

laughter lines? No. Nothing is THAT funny!

laughter lines? No. Nothing is THAT funny!

And now it is the weekend…hooray!  Stay warm lovely people :o)

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Happy Miserables

Posted on January 22, 2013 by thepogblog

flowerI’ve never really been one for musicals.  I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m incompetent at interpreting stories when they are sung or the fact that I always spend the final part panicking that I might miss the last train to Bumpkinsville.  Either way, when I saw Les Miserables in London years ago, I was left with a feeling that I’d seen something amazing but I had no real idea what the story was.

The film has come to our local cinema and mum really wanted to go.  Dad refused on the grounds that last time he saw a film it was ‘too noisy, everyone mumbled’ and ‘it wasn’t funny enough’.  On that basis I offered to go with Mum to see Les Miserables, which we did last night.

If you’ve not been, even if you’re not much of a musical fan, I highly recommend it. Amazingly, I finally completely understand the story.  And after the first cinema wide giggle at Russell Crowe’s singing, I was totally absorbed.  (Poor Russell, it’s a bit like those X-factor contestants who are convinced by family and friends that they are better than anyone else and nobody tells them the truth.  At least he’s not quite that bad….).

I also recommend drinking a pint of water beforehand as there is a good chance you’ll lose that quantity in tears.  And take a box of tissues.  If you don’t use them all, you can make friends by handing them around – everyone (men included) was sobbing last night.  I blubbed like a complete baby.

Kleenex should have sponsored that film :o)

PS:  Maybe I should point out, I also cried at Nanny McPhee when I watched it for the first time this weekend.  Although that might have been due to the fact that I’d been likened to her by a friend and that’s enough to make anyone cry!

Nanny McPhee. Well I guess there are similarities...

Nanny McPhee. Well I guess there are similarities…

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