Ok, I know you’re not all sitting there waiting for my next blog post, but sorry for the lack of them over the last little while. It’s all been a bit bonkers. The sort of thing that has been going on includes:
- I’ve stopped one neighbour putting a brick through another neighbours car window and releasing the handbrake (yes, really).
- I’ve discovered Norman cat is a transvestite. Well, my mascara went missing overnight and there’s nobody else who could have snaffled it.
- I’ve been perfecting the design of a teddy bear
- I’ve dreamed of a time machine so I actually have enough time to do the day job, sew and sleep (if anyone has a spare one hanging around in the shed, I’ll pay good money. Not much, but good money).
And Sister 1 got married! This in itself could provide content for a few posts but the highlights for me were:
- Hearing that as she got out of the car that took her to the reception her words were not of excitement or romantic sentiments….no, they were ‘I need to pee!’ (She is 7.5 months pregnant to be fair)
- Sister 2 and I doing a reading. Happily she managed not to change ‘meet’ to ‘mate’ in her part (as she managed to in every practice) and I managed to get through the part that made me giggle for no good reason (as I had in every practice). Unfortunately I did get a bit tongue tied and ended up blowing a raspberry part way through before apologising to everyone. I’m so classy.
- Sister 2 walking elegantly out of the ceremony only to fall down the stairs, cut her elbow and rip her tights (ok, maybe not a highlight but she was laughing rather than crying so it’s kind of funny)
- Dad attempting to use his father-of-the-bride speech to sell some of the stick insect eggs that Mrs Stick Insect has laid.
- Losing my hair. I tell you, it’s one thing to come back to a table and think you’ve lost your camera or something. It’s quite another to come back and realise that your hair has gone walkabout! (I’d taken off Bradley after a white wine too many and he had been borrowed…)
- It’s also the only wedding I’ve ever been to were a burlesque dancer performed.
- Seeing Sister 1 and the flower girls carrying the button kissing balls I made for them

this contains 1200 buttons, 1200 pins and took about 10.5 hours. Definitely a one off (or three off)!
Congratulations Sister 1 and your Painted Man (he’s a tattoo artist). Not long before two become three :o)