How to catch a spider

Posted on June 12, 2012 by thepogblog

I’ve not mentioned it before, but TTB has a Little Boy.  We shall call him TTBLB (The Toy Boy’s Little Boy).  He is five and Gorgeous.

A few weeks ago I went to see them, and TTB told TTBLB to tell me about his latest antics.  It turned out there was a ‘really really fast spider that daddy can’t catch’ so, off his own back TTBLB had devised a plan of capture, This plan involved liberally covering the flat in pieces of blu tac so that ‘when the spider runs across it will get stuck’.  I wondered whether he was wanting to kill or capture the spider and was informed that is was just a method of capture.

add to the backs of doors and letter boxes…

…and to heaters – top and side

Overnight things must have changed though, as at some early hour TTBLB was clearly busy with plan B, having already informed us that none of the blu tack lumps had worked.  When we got up we discovered that TTBLB had set up his guns (the sort that fire foam pellets, nothing sharp and pointy) in a sniper style at various points so that if he spied the very, very fast spider, he could shoot it.

Sadly I’m not sure this strategy worked either, but it’s something to bear in mind should you ever need to capture a very, very fast spider yourself :o)

it may be best not to try with one this size…

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Bumpkinsville Hunting

Posted on June 11, 2012 by thepogblog

I won’t post on Charlie cat again (unless he is found, then I will shout it from the roof tops) but indulge me this last time…

After a second flyer-ing and putting up of posters at the weekend, there was a sighting of Charlie not too far away.  I rushed over, almost kidnapped a similar looking cat in my excitement and then walked around a few fields with the lovely lady who thought she’d seen him.

I’ve been out tonight too…for a long time…no Charlie cat, but I do have a few tips should you ever be in a similar position:

  • Do not go ‘off piste’ in a woods you’ve never been to.  It’s quite difficult to push through dense branches to find your way back.  And it means you get a lot of tree in your hair.
  • Wear waders when walking through a field of thigh high grass or expect to get seriously soggy
  • Check that your wellies are watertight, especially when there has been torrential rain for what feels like weeks
  • Just because a field looks like it’s just grass doesn’t mean there isn’t a small river running through it
  • Just because you have fallen into one river doesn’t mean there wont be another shortly afterwards
  • When walking though a large field in growing darkness, be aware that the rivers will be there on the way back too…
  • ….and that wellies that aren’t watertight that have gone through rivers four times mean you have your own private puddles to trudge home in.
  • Shining a torch through the windows of an empty house will get at least two neighbours looking worriedly out of their windows (I’m waiting for the police to turn up at any minute looking for a potential burglar in leaky wellies with tree in their hair carrying a box of Whiskers Temptations).
  • Donkies have really big teeth.
  • In local woods you can find a variety of things should you need to refurnish your house.  I found a deep fat fryer, a sofa, a garden pot and a giant stuffed Pluto.

You never know, they might be useful tips for you one day :o)

sometimes I'd like to be able to hide in the nearest bag too...

My lovely furball :o(

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A few Pog type incidents

Posted on June 8, 2012 by thepogblog

OK, I am seriously behind on the blog so I’ll do a summary of the last few Pog-isms that have happened which would have probably have been better if they hadn’t…

  • Getting in the car, putting it in reverse, taking off the handbrake and having a panic that it had finally broken as it didn’t move.  Sister 1 informed me at that point that ‘it might help to turn it on’.
  • Dressing half for work (top half) and half for an early morning Charlie search (jeans and trainers) and forgetting I needed to change the bottom half for work.  Red trainers covered in Bumpkinsville mud don’t quite fit in at the Canary Wharf office.
  • Attempting to introduce TTB to people and…completely forgetting his name.
  • Thinking I might have heard Charlie cat while sitting on the back door step with Norman one night, rushing behind the shed, hooking myself over the fence and almost being savaged by the Wild Beast of Bumpkinsville (which in all probability was actually just a poodle with a vicious bark), hurtling back out from behind the shed, getting my foot stuck in the mud and loosing a shoe.
  • Deciding that mountain biking a 13 mile track around a reservoir with TTB was a good idea and that I should listen to the weather forecast (cold and rain).  Sporting a vest top, hooded top and winter waterproof jacket I was melting within 10 minutes…
  • ….and deciding to whip off the sweaty vest top in the rather busy car park (it felt really icky) just as TTB chose to impersonate a car alarm: while I was standing in my jeans and bra. (Thank you for that!)

I blame it on Charlie can related panic.  (For those wanting to know, he is still missing.  I’m starting to think Norman may have swapped him for a sausage.  I have new posters arriving tomorrow though so I’ve not given up yet.)

Here’s hoping that the next few days are a little saner.  Well…I can hope :o)

 

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Slightly late Jubilee-ness

Posted on June 6, 2012 by thepogblog

It’s a quick blog tonight as I am going on one last Charlie cat hunt (he’s not back, obviously).  I’ll get back to complete daftness shortly – honest.

I’m a bit behind with things, but I thought the Jubilee couldn’t go unnoticed here.  So here we have:

The now almost infamous telephone box:

 

Duckingham palace on one of the local village ponds:

And my favourite.  From the coronation in 1953:

 

My mum is the really cute one at the front with a swimming hat and ball (I asked – she said she was ‘a swimmer’.  I stopped asking at that point) and the girl standing at the back on the right is my aunt.  It would seem she was…a bishop!  Ah well, whatever they were attempting to depict, it’s still my favourite :o)

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Charlie Cat Missing in Action

Posted on June 1, 2012 by thepogblog

As Facebook friends will know, today has not been the best.  Charlie cat was last seen Wednesday evening – which I know isn’t long ago, but Charlie requires almost hourly cuddles and so when he wasn’t at the end of my bed yesterday morning, I was worried.  He’s not been home since and this morning full blown panic set in. 

This doesn’t sound like a very smile inducing post, but, although there is still no sign of the little fur ball and the panic is now close to hysteria, today has been one where I’ve realised that there are some very lovely people out there.

At 6am I went out on my bike to look and stopped the dog walkers…all of who promised to keep an eye out.

I made a flier, posted it on face book and had lots of lovely responses about naughty felines that had been missing far longer than Charlie cat and still turned up….so I am still hopeful.

I called the printer who prints the magazine I write for as soon as he opened.  I explained that I needed some basic fliers doing to try to find Charlie (I don’t have my own printer) and that I would pay whatever was needed to get them done asap.  He printed them for me, in colour, for free.

My boss was more understanding that I could possibly imagine someone with cats being (and she only has the non-fur ball type of boys).

I met a cat called Herbie on my wanderings who liked the treats I was shaking when I called to Charlie – he followed me around the road for a good ten minutes

Sister 1 had a late shift today and volunteered to come over this morning to help me look and deliver fliers. (Sister 2 is at work – she wasn’t being lazy!)

We spoke to quite a few people, all who took the time to take me to their garden, take a look in their sheds or just say that they would keep a look out.

I went to two local shops and both waived the charge to put a flier in their window for me.

Within minutes of getting home, I’d had two calls and a text – all from strangers – telling me where they had found their cat locally when it had gone missing so I could try those spots.

I’ve called the local vets, I’ve searched the hedgerows on the main road in case he had been hit but nothing :o(  Fingers crossed that he is in a shed and someone will see the flier when they get home from work and free him to come home.  Norman and I are feeling a bit lost at the moment, but it is good to know that there are lovely people around.  So it’s a sort of :o)

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A bit of Bumpkinsville

Posted on May 31, 2012 by thepogblog

I am always going about Bumpkinsville here – perhaps not too surprising when you consider it is where I live – but I do love the countryside for its wildlife, open spaces and clean air.  And am slightly disdainful, if I’m honest, of city life (I did do it for a good few years – I’m not being disparaging with no good cause).

Anyway, I feel I should retract some of my views after having lunch in Canary Wharf the other day.  We sat on some grass, surrounded by a few hundred other people, right between the tube station and a shopping center.  At this point I was wishing for the Bumpkinsville fields on the Downs, but then this happened:

If I sneak up quietly….

…gulp, he’s seen me!

It worked! nom, nom, nom…

So there is a bit of Bumpkinsville, even in the city :o)

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Pog Presents

Posted on May 29, 2012 by thepogblog

It may seem like I have been a little tardy with the blog posts recently.  It’s not been intentional – I just don’t seem to have enough hours in the day at the moment between work, sewing, craft stalls, cycling, TTB and the other boring ‘life stuff’.  Not that I’m complaining – all is very good in the world of Pog Towers, it’s just a little chaotic.  And that is why I think the following may have happened….

As you may have realised by now, I don’t cook.  And when I do, I tend to do it badly.  I think that is why last Monday TTB cooked dinner for us at his house and brought it round with him (well, I wasn’t going to object – lovely it was too).  I still managed to set off the smoke alarm during the re-heat though.  And it turns out that my washing up wasn’t quite up to standard.  I know this because at the weekend TTB said he had a present for me….

It was these:

That’ll be a brillo pad and a ‘shower cap’ for my smoke alarm.  Such a romantic.

It didn’t stop there though.  Sister 1 popped over the other day and gave me this:

That’s early wrinkle correction cream.

Maybe it’s a good thing I’m short of time at the moment – I don’t have the time to worry about my burning abilities, my lack of washing up skills and my wrinkles.  It’s also a damn good thing I have a sense of humour with those two around!  :o)

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Beware of the evil sheep!

Posted on May 22, 2012 by thepogblog

Last Friday I left Norman and Charlie for a long weekend with The Girls.  We were off to Devon to celebrate a birthday and do a spot of walking.  Initially, I didn’t tell The Girls that as a rule, I don’t walk unless I have no other option or if food is involved.  Happily, I felt able to break this news before we left and was promised alcohol en route and a cream tea if I made it to the end.  I also made it clear that I would not being doing any map reading (the drive from Somerset to Kent with an unscheduled stop in Cornwall still haunts me).

Anyway, we set out on Saturday aiming for the sea, happy in the knowledge that as long as we kept the river next to us, we’d definitely get there.  We lost the river.  We (eventually) found some sheep.  The sheep looked like they were guiding us in a particular direction so I suggested we follow.  Amazingly, The Girls agreed.  Not so amazingly, the sheep led us completely the wrong way.  We are of the firm opinion that they were in fact evil sheep, intent on taking over the world.  We were just a bit of practice for them….

The Evil Sheep

The moral of the story: Beware of the evil sheep.  Do not follow them like a erm…sheep

For the record, it was ME who found the right way back to the river (with the help of a friendly cyclist) having discovered that a certain one of The Girls had the map upside down when we wandered sheep-wards.  We suspect that the evil sheep may have played a part in that too.

We made it!

And it was SO worth it!

Baa :o)

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Big Brave Pog

Posted on May 15, 2012 by thepogblog

I am ‘a big brave girl’.  I know this because my dentist told me this morning when I opted to have both my fillings done at the same time.

It may seem a little patronising, but I had reverted to being a small child, cowering in the corner of the waiting room when he came to get me and almost crying when I got as far as the chair.  (Ok, I wasn’t quite that bad but there wasn’t a nurse to hold my hand like the last time – which, incidentally, was around 2 years ago).

He gave me my injections and we had a slightly surreal conversation about when he used to play cricket with TTB (oh, the joys of living in Bumpkinsville).  He asked if my mouth felt numb.  I told him (in a very slurred way as I couldn’t move most of my mouth) that I was numb from my chin and up to and including my entire right nostril.  He told me that if I needed to tell him anything while he was drilling then I was to raise my hand.

Now, I’m thinking that if at dentist school they can teach students to understand what people say while they have 19 different pieces of metal and half a hand protruding from their mouth, they should inform them that when patients are scared and have regressed to their six year old self, instructions need to be explicit.  Really explicit.

In this case he should have specified that before raising my hand, I should open my eyes (obviously they were screwed up for the duration).  That way, I wouldn’t have punched him in the face.  And, had I not punched him in the face I wouldn’t have got the giggles, and then I wouldn’t have dribbled quite so much over his hand.  Luckily, he also saw the funny side (although a laughing dentist holding a drill is even more terrifying than a miserable dentist holding a drill…)

Still, I think maybe he won’t make the same mistake again.  And it turned out that I was a big brave girl and he was a big brave dentist…  :o)

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Magic? Pah!

Posted on May 11, 2012 by thepogblog

It’s less than two months before I go on holiday :o)  This is A Good Thing.

The whole family are going.  This is not such A Good Thing as Sisters 1 and two are skinny-malinky’s and there is a very real danger that if I lie down next to them on the beach, I will be harpooned.

This realisation has of course meant a restart of the unfatness plan involving increased cycling and more healthy eating (Haribo jelly sweets, I decided, don’t count as unhealthy on the grounds that no chocolate is involved).  Last week though, I thought I may have found a short cut to unfatness.  While wandering aimlessly around Tesco trying to remember what was on the list I’d carefully written and promptly left on the kitchen worktop, I spied a ‘magic tankini’! (vest top rather than bra top for anyone needing a definition)

I had visions of it reducing me to half my current size the moment I popped it on.  Tree trunk legs transformed to toothpicks, love straps minimised to love handles…and maybe even disappearing, and of course the return of the toned tummy I took for granted in my 20’s.  In my little fantasy I clearly became a healthy tanned colour…that is the only reason I can think I selected bright pink over safe black.

I got home and decided to try it on straight away…after all, if it’s magical properties were that great I could wear it under my clothes at all times.

I may do Tesco under the Trade Descriptions Act.  I looked like a dough ball in lycra.  An uncooked one at that.  In fact the only magical thing about it was the fact that my bedroom didn’t fill with overzealous whale hunters ready to harpoon me there and then.

So I guess it is back to the unfatness plan with a vengeance.  Alternatively, if the blog stops in about 2.5 months, you’ll know that Greenpeace couldn’t save me….  :o)

This is exactly what I look like in the so called ‘magic tankini’…

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