Magic? Pah!

It’s less than two months before I go on holiday :o)  This is A Good Thing.

The whole family are going.  This is not such A Good Thing as Sisters 1 and two are skinny-malinky’s and there is a very real danger that if I lie down next to them on the beach, I will be harpooned.

This realisation has of course meant a restart of the unfatness plan involving increased cycling and more healthy eating (Haribo jelly sweets, I decided, don’t count as unhealthy on the grounds that no chocolate is involved).  Last week though, I thought I may have found a short cut to unfatness.  While wandering aimlessly around Tesco trying to remember what was on the list I’d carefully written and promptly left on the kitchen worktop, I spied a ‘magic tankini’! (vest top rather than bra top for anyone needing a definition)

I had visions of it reducing me to half my current size the moment I popped it on.  Tree trunk legs transformed to toothpicks, love straps minimised to love handles…and maybe even disappearing, and of course the return of the toned tummy I took for granted in my 20’s.  In my little fantasy I clearly became a healthy tanned colour…that is the only reason I can think I selected bright pink over safe black.

I got home and decided to try it on straight away…after all, if it’s magical properties were that great I could wear it under my clothes at all times.

I may do Tesco under the Trade Descriptions Act.  I looked like a dough ball in lycra.  An uncooked one at that.  In fact the only magical thing about it was the fact that my bedroom didn’t fill with overzealous whale hunters ready to harpoon me there and then.

So I guess it is back to the unfatness plan with a vengeance.  Alternatively, if the blog stops in about 2.5 months, you’ll know that Greenpeace couldn’t save me….  :o)

This is exactly what I look like in the so called ‘magic tankini’…

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2 Responses to Magic? Pah!

  1. Sue Byrne says:

    Loved this as I too am off to sunny pastures in a couple of months and am dreading the moment that I have to get the summer clothes out of the loft for the ‘once over’ knowing that glass of rose and the Flake I had earlier are sitting somewhere around my waistline :-)

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