No Longer a Gym Virgin!

Posted on January 9, 2011 by thepogblog

Oh. My. God.  I got back from my first ever trip to the gym a couple of hours ago and it seems I may have been a little over enthusiastic.  1.5 hours of treadmills, cross trainers and some weird leg weighty things and I am starting to seize up.  Which is almost a good thing as then I won’t be able to move at all.  And right now even typing is making me consider downing a few ibuprofen.

Sisters 1 and 2 kindly took me on this expedition.  I would like to say that it was to support me in the un-fatness plan, but in reality, they just wanted a laugh (this is confirmed by Sister 1’s Facebook status posted yesterday which says: ‘so excited about tomorrow morning I almost want to go to bed now!!!!!!!’  This is later clarified with ‘I am going to the gym with Pog and Sal!!!!hilarious!!!!!x’  Thanks for that Sister 1.)

So, a few top tips incase any of you are also planning on popping your gym cherry any time soon:

  • Although it is possible to go backwards on a cross trainer you apparently aren’t supposed to.  A Sister 2 is required to point out the correct direction (I still can’t work out that one).
  • Don’t try moving your feet / sorting your i-pod while on the cross trainer.  It results in a rather ungainly slump to one side while your legs try to catch up with themselves (and a slightly hysterical Sister 2)
  • There is a reason people take a towel to the gym with them.  You pour with sweat.  I know this shouldn’t be a surprise but as I usually exercise in water or outside I’d not realised how bad the sweating situation could get.  It is bad.
  • Not everyone feels the need to have a shower before the gym.  Or possibly even apply deodorant.  Or maybe even clean their teeth.  A gas mask would have been useful while next to a couple of people there. (Note to Sister 2:  There is a possibility of going too far the other way.  In my view, you don’t actually need to body butter your legs or put foundation on…)
  • Remember to keep running on the treadmill or you really will do that cartoon thing where you end up falling off the back (It didn’t quite happen, but it was close enough to receive a few smirks)
  • When you get off the treadmill you may feel like you are on a boat.  You may also feel sea sick.  (No, I don’t know why either but it happened.  I was actually swaying.)
  • Don’t tell Sister 1 that you think one of the men weight training may have a dumbbell down his trousers.  Well, you can, but just not when you both have your ipods on as you’ll be talking far louder than you think you are and will get strange looks…

And now I need to go and lie down on the sofa.  Where I may be for the next few days… :o)

I think I'll probably be as stiff as this lot in the morning...

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The Pondering (almost) Nose Clip Pog

Posted on January 7, 2011 by thepogblog

Despite only being a 4 day week, this has felt like the longest week of the year (which strictly speaking, I guess it has been so far).  Determined to continue with the un-fatness plan though, I was at the pool at 7am this morning.

Now, I have a slight thing around numbers – on the bike I have a little whatsit to count my miles.  I did count the lengths I swum in my head but when I started doing more than 50, I started getting confused (this is easily done at the best of times).  So I bought a swimming whatsit.  (For any boy getting excited about a potential new gadget this is very, very basic).

See? Very basic!

Somehow though, this morning I managed to get confused even with the whatsit.  This could have been due to tiredness as a result of work after the holiday, due to the fact that I had used up all the brain cells allocated for the week, or because I was trying to work out if there is a relationship between thongs (Ozzy flip flops) and thongs (ladies knickers somewhere between a g-string and apple catchers).  And if there is a link, which came first.  This lead me to consider once again where bodies (the ones like babies vests for fully grown women) should be fastened under or over tights.  And what possessed someone to bring them back into fashion.

Then I realised I’d not been pressing the whatsit and got a bit humphy.  Maybe next week I will at least try to ponder some serious topics so that and screw ups on the length counting are worth it.  Maybe the nose clip I treated myself to this morning as I left will help…:o)

The boys like the swimming bag...

Norman the labrador
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Tiny Towers Update

Posted on January 4, 2011 by thepogblog

Finally I have started to receive guests at Pog Tiny Towers (otherwise known as ‘the bird table’).   I say ‘guests’ it’s more like ‘guest’ – just a lone blue tit at the moment, but a very tall robin has also been nosing around so there is hope…  This is A Good Thing, although it is probably only a matter of time before my bird knowledge is exhausted and I have no clue who my visitors at Tiny Towers are.

I’ll probably have to describe the attire of the guests to my parents for identification.  Like the Magical Mystery Bird spotted a while back.  That went something like:

Me: I saw a weird bird today

Pog Parents: What did it look like?

Me:  Shape of a pheasant, size of a chicken, black with grey spots with red feet and beak.

Pog Parents:  Just how much vodka had you drunk?

I proved my sanity and sobriety a few weeks later when, out on my bike, I discovered that a flock (?) herd (?) of the Magical Mystery birds living in a back garden near the original sighting.  I left the bike at the bottom of a bank, climbed up it, pushed my way through most of the hedge and waved my mobile in the general direction of the flock / herd.  As this was at the side of the road it was a rather speedy photo session (I felt explaining the need to photograph a Magical Mystery bird on private property to anyone who challenged me may not help in the quest to prove my sanity).  The good news though, is that it was sufficient to convince the parents and to identify the feathered mystery as a Guinea Fowl. 

At least identifying guests at Tiny Towers shouldn’t involve quite so much subterfuge and potential for being arrested.  Well, hopefully not anyway… :o)

Ferocious Fur Balls (possibly one of the reasons the birds are currently few and far between...although the ferociousness is only through the window)

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An actual giggle (sound needed) :o)

Posted on January 2, 2011 by thepogblog

Yesterday I mentioned some voice mails I left my sisters on the walk home from the NYE BBQ I went to.  By the powers of technical wizardry, here’s one for your listening pleasure:

 

And yes, the comparison with Mutley has already been made by the entire family…:o)

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Happy New Ear (and a couple of apologies)…

Posted on January 1, 2011 by thepogblog

Happy New Ear! (as wished to me by Lovely Little Man – aged 2 and a bit.)

I thought last night I would manage to bypass the getting home issues of the work Christmas party.  I was right in that there were no bouncers, no French Bull dog, no white van and, as I was only 1.5 miles from home I could walk back easily.  Unfortunately, my plan didn’t…well, go to plan.  I would therefore like to make the following apologies:

To anyone living on the unlit road between the village I was in and the village I was aiming for:

I think my constant giggling may have been rather loud.  I know it was near hysteria at the points that I found myself flat on my back in the hedgerows, covered in mud and trying to extract thorns from my legs.  When I realised I had got myself upright and started walking the wrong way I was finding it hard to breathe through the laughing.  (I know this for definite as I called both sisters to try to tell them.  Both sisters called this morning for a translation of the voice mails I’d left.)  To find it that funny I’d obviously had a sherry too many, but hey ho.  I started the new year off with a good old belly laugh or two…

To Cycling Friend:

I can confirm that my text informing ‘No more poking for you’ was actually supposed to say ‘No more smoking for you’.  It’s probably best to leave that one there. 

To Geeky Friend:

I am still unsure what I may have meant when I texted ‘roads as norman as me’.  You were probably right to give up on a conversation at that point.

Anyway, I did get home under my own steam, so the drunken Pog situation is improving.  The cuts on my hands shouldn’t take too long to heal (those hedgerows must contain a lot of brambles.  That or I fell over more than the three times I remember).  And the mud coating my jeans will come out in the wash…  Next time I may hide my mobile from myself to further improve the situation.

 I hope you have had a good start to 2011.  Happy New Ear :o)x

Dark unlit road with flash...

Dark unlit road without flash. No wonder I fell over! (if you look really carefully you can just see a light in the village I am aiming for...)

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Resolutions and Revolutions

Posted on December 31, 2010 by thepogblog

Oh Lordy, how did we get to the end of 2010 so fast?  Eyes down and focus Pog, this calls for resolutions. 

Only I thought about it last night as I was waiting for Charlie to stop trying to kill the toes on my left foot so I could to drift off to sleep and…nothing.  I thought about it again while swimming this morning and…nothing (that wasn’t too surprising though as I was half asleep and my main focus was not requiring lifeguard intervention.  Again.)

I looked for inspiration from last year but all I can remember resolving to do was give up smoking.  Ahhhh.  Resolution 1:  To step up the Unfatness Plan and get rid of the weight put on as a result of eating cookies rather than having a cigarette (and considering I was on over 40 a day that is a lot of cookies and so a lot of weight…)

That does seem a bit boring though, so to get me on a roll, I thought I’d steal a few of the more interesting ones I’ve seen other people commit to.  So:

Resolutions of a Pog

  1. Step up the Un-fatness Plan so I can fit into my thin jeans by the time I go on my summer holiday
  2. Say yes to more things
  3. NOT to set a cycling target this year (3000 miles last year made me proud, but rather dictated my life)
  4. Spend less time working
  5. Try to continue making people smile through the blog and the work of the cookie / jam / post fairy
  6. Find a new fairy to be
  7. Perhaps locate a pair of wings…
  8. Lead the Sweet Justice Revolution (this is currently just a small cunning plan.  Should it grow and be hatched I will provide an explanation / update)
  9. To remain un-sectioned despite the slight loopiness involved in numbers 5-8.

I think that will do me.  Now, it’s time to work out the dress code for a NYE BBQ.  Yes.  Really.

Happy New Year everyone!  I hope 2011 brings you all the happiness and smiles that you deserve :o)x

Happy 2011 :o)x

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Pog Tiny Towers (and a lack of guests)

Posted on December 30, 2010 by thepogblog

I was given some great Christmas presents this year.  I have my first egg cup since childhood which adds a new item in my repertoire of ‘quick-one-pot-dinners.’ And boiled egg and dippy soldiers has to be the ultimate in comfort food…

I also now own the softest PJs ever made.  Their softness has been provided, possibly at the cost of their appearance (fluorescent pink-with-snowflake-detail), but they are the toastiest, softest legs so I don’t care. 

One present that I had asked for (does this scream middle age?) was a bird table (to be known as Pog Tiny Towers) made my a little old man who lives down the road from the Pog Parents.  My thinking around this had a number of different strands:

Doesn't that look inviting to you? (Well, if you were a bird...)

  • I hoped that the birds that congregate in the back garden would migrate to the front and therefore be well out of the way of Charlie and Norman (who, it turns out, are rather good on the hunting front but seem to have an aversion to the front of the house).
  • I thought that it would give me something to look out of the front window when I sit at my table on the laptop.
  • I thought that there might also be some sort of Disney-esque Dance-of the-Birds to thank me for my kindness in not only providing them with a bird table, but furnishing it with suet balls, peanuts and a squirrel proof bird seed feeder, full to bursting.

And what happens in reality?  Forget the bird dance of thanks.  Not one bird has been to visit.  Not one.  I have been told to be patient…but aren’t they hungry?  They have it on a plate (well, bird table) out there and not a shred of interest… 

Well, if they don’t find it by the end of the week I’ll have to put some sign posts up directing them from the back garden to Pog Tiny Towers.  And maybe a ‘Food Served Here’ sign on the roof so they see it when they fly over.  Then the bird spotting can commence.  And should I get my Dance-of-the-Birds I’ll make sure I get photos to post here :o)

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Christmas: tick

Posted on December 29, 2010 by thepogblog

Well, that’s Christmas done then…

Visiting of friends (once the snow allowed it)

Eating of far too much food

Watching Sisters 1 and 2 do ‘making things’ on Boxing day (family tradition to keep them quiet.  Unchanged despite the fact they are nearly 30).

Near massacre in the dog department (below is the only moment they were friends and lasted all of 10 seconds…)

 Sitting in front of open fire

Boxing day walk

Watching parents attempt the Michael Jackson Wii dancing game (highly recommended if a giggle is required)

 And today I decided that enough was enough, and that it was time to get off the sofa and limit the number of chocolates eaten in any 24 hour period.  So, Sister 1 and I went swimming at 7am.  Both of us required life guard intervention (I did my near drowning trick – I really must get a nose clip – and not to be outdone, she got cramp).  Undeterred, we are both going back tomorrow – it’s literally sink or swim :o)

Most importantly though, thank you very much for all your help raising money for Crisis.  We went over my target, so as flippant as the above may sound, the fact that between us all we helped others have a better Christmas than they would otherwise have had is my real  Christmas smile :o)x

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The night before Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2010 by thepogblog

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.’

Well, I can confirm that is unlikely to be the case here at Pog Towers tonight based on every other night of the year. 

Originally it was just the fire breathing dragon trapped in the bathroom wall.  He does his fire breathing thing for about 5 minutes after I have flushed the toilet (I’ve been told that he is actually just an air bubble or something but I prefer to think of it as Puff). 

In my bedroom, at some point in the night there will be the sound of a couple of burglars breaking through the back door.  It’s only when I have woken up properly that I remember Charlie and Norman were not blessed in the cat stealth department and it is actually them hurtling through the cat flap. 

Having trampled all over me, Norman will drift off to sleep under the bed and Charlie at the end.  And within 10 minutes or so both will be snoring at a volume that would rival many of the two legged male species…

And now there is a new noise.  Either the extractor fan in the bathroom is on its last legs or a small WW2 plane has moved in to keep Puff entertained.

So, it’s unlikely that between Puff, the plane and the snoring cat burglars that it will be a quiet night but I’m still going to listen really hard for Father Christmas’s sleigh…

Happy Christmas people! :o)x

I don't mean to be disrespectful, but does it look like Joseph is holding some handcuffs in the air to you?

And this is Mary in the family nativity....

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Storage issues, ginger cake and a whole lot of lights…

Posted on December 22, 2010 by thepogblog

I may have mentioned a couple of times before that I live in the smallest house ever built.  This has caused a few issues this week as I’ve finally bought a new tv (Hooray! – now I don’t have to wait 45minutes for the picture to appear) and I went on a cross country expedition yesterday to collect the Christmas and Boxing Day vegetables for seven of us, enough picked cabbage to keep a small army going for a year, 2 fruit cakes and a ginger cake.

That may not sound like much but there was not enough room inside for the old tv and I’ve not had the time (or to be honest, the inclination) to take it to the tip.  So I shoved it in the boot of my car. Just.  When I picked up all the food the obvious solution was to leave all that in the car too (note: this is not advisable as leeks make your car stink).  All was going swimmingly until I had to take the car to the garage for its MOT this morning and realised that the mechanic wouldn’t be able to get to the back seat or the spare tyre.  So I managed to get the tv into the shed and left all the food in the lounge.  And that was my mistake.  To cut a long story short:

  • Apologising to the mechanic for your car smelling of leeks earns you weird looks
  • I can drive a car with no suspension on one side for some time without knowing it
  • The car failed the MOT
  • Norman can break through two sandwich bags and a carrier bag
  • Norman has a thing about ginger cake 

The upside is that I have had to ‘modify’ the cake slightly so that my dad (the intended recipient) is not quite so aware of the damage Norman has caused.  I can confirm that Norman has good taste though.  It’s delicious :o)

And here are some photos from yesterdays expeditions:

I think these neighbours may be in competition with each other...

Something in the garden at this house was playing christmas tunes at me in a slightly eerie way...

The deer in this one actually moved...

This one was rather pretty (in a rather bright, could do with sunglasses kind of way)

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