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Weird things happen to me.  Last night is just one more example…  :o/

I got home from fitball, had a cup of coffee and a piece of toast and them jumped in the shower.  As I was getting out and grabbing my towel, I heard frantic knocking on my front door (for those of you not familiar with the layout of Pog Towers, it’s a teeny tiny bungalow and the front door is a whole eight steps from the bathroom.  It is.  I just checked).  It was the sort of frantic that you don’t ignore so I poked my head out the bathroom and through the glass in the door I could see what was quite clearly my neighbour and two firemen.

This is my front door. The glass bit comes into the story again in a bit.

This is my front door. The glass bit comes into the story again in a bit.

It went through my head that next door could be on fire, spreading to mine and they were there to get me out before they filled the house with water.  I wrapped the towel round me and skidded those eight steps.  Happily, it turned out that neither I nor my neighbours were on fire – the issue was in the garden of a house in the road behind that they couldn’t get into – could they come through my house, and look over my back garden fence to work out what was actually on fire?

Now I don’t go to town on my towels.  I just have the normal bath towel, not an enormous sheet.  I do however, have quite a sizeable bottom which, it turns out, when you rush wrapping in a towel, prefers to remain free.  I was decent from the front, but my arse was hanging out of my towel at the back.  There was no option.  I had to say that they were very welcome to come through Pog Towers, but they would have to wait on the door step while I walked backwards to the bathroom to grab my dressing gown (so I didn’t moon them in the process).  To make matters worse, I left the door ajar, they obviously didn’t understand what I’d just said and they followed me, walking backwards…  I had to shoo them back out.

So that as how I ended up spending last night standing in my garden in my dressing gown with two firemen, looking at trees to try to work out exactly which house the fire belonged to.  You couldn’t make it up, could you?  :o)

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Graduation!

Six weeks ago I started a beginners running course. Me: the three legged donkey who refuses to run In public because people tend to laugh. I never really believed I would get further than the 30 seconds running, 30 seconds walking, but yesterday we tested out the 5k route we will be timed on next week (although due to a Pog moment that involved me missing the first 15 minutes of the run, then galloping to catch up without warming up I got hideous cramp in both calves, so I spent more time trying not to cry than actually running, so next week will be the first time I properly run it).  Anyway, despite all that, I have actually graduated!

And more than that, I also joined the Wednesday beginners course. And I have started running on my own twice a week. I now own more Lycra based items than any self respecting cat lady with a crochet habit should, I have shiny new trainers, specially fitted to my running and I can almost put on a sports bra without having to dislocate both shoulders.  I even bought running socks (that seemed to know I sometimes need a bit of help):

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Sunday mornings now start with what may or may not be a 5k run/ walk (I was measuring my distance in my iPod, but bought a new gizmo, only to find that they don’t tally at all.  Grrrr.) Either way, there is more running than walking that there was a few weeks back, and I am loving the route:

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Except this bit, where I have to cross a railway line. I am utterly convinced that one day I’ll just not see or hear the one coming round the corner:

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Now I just have to work on not rewarding myself with food when I get back… At the moment this is not quite the unfatness plan I had hoped for. The sweaty plan, it definitely is though :o)

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Shiny new things

I can finally tell you my exciting bit of news: This week I signed a contract on a shiny new job :o)

It’s the same company, but a different part, doing a bigger, much more interesting version of what I do now, with different people in a different part of London.  And this is despite answering the rather unexpected ‘What exactly is fitball?’ in the second round of interviews with ‘Well, I can tell you it is not jumping around on big beach balls which is what I had hoped when I signed up’.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that 15 years later than most people manage (according to my dentist) TWO wisdom teeth have taken it upon themselves to make an appearance this week – it’s like my body knows that all my wisdom will be needed in the near future.  Unfortunately, because it’s me, rather than also being lovely shiny new things both have become infected, are growing all wrong and will be removed in three weeks…

For now, I have one week left in my old job and therefore one week to have a complete panic that I’m not actually capable of the new one, and that I have insufficient time to 1) grow up and 2) locate a new work wardrobe more fitting for my big girl job.

I’m swinging between ‘really excited’ and ‘terrified’.  It does of course provide a whole new range of opportunities to have Pog moments, which mostly just moves me to ‘terrified’.  I hope the new team have a sense of humour… :o)

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Another step in the unfatness plan

I can’t decide if Sister 1 is a genius or a nutcase.  I suspect she may be a bit of both.

Every other Monday is Big House Day.  This is when Sister 1 goes to Pog Towers and makes it look twice it’s usual size (also known as cleaning).  She also often leaves me post it notes around the house which make me smile.  Yesterday I couldn’t see any post it notes and was a little bit sad, but realised that they probably aren’t her priority and she’d probably not had enough time.

But it turned out she had done something even better.  I wanted a piece of toast before fitball and opened the fridge to find this:

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Eyes, everywhere, looking at me!

The genius of this is not just that it made me laugh.  It’s the impact on the unfatness plan.  How am I supposed to eat things that are looking at me?  I had an egg at lunchtime – the last one in the box.  Only now I have an empty box sitting in the kitchen work surface that I can’t throw away because I swear it is looking a little sad and dejected that it’s empty, and that’s all down to me…

So I think that this could be the final piece in the unfatness plan.  It’s not just about fitball or yoga or running.  It’s about putting eyes on your biscuits so you feel too guilty to snack on them :o)

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why you should take some things slowly

You know how when you rush something and then really regret it?  That happened yesterday. I had to dye my hair…and Just wanted to move onto the next thing on my list as quickly as possible. I also noticed that the instructions had in capital letters that I should USE ALL CONTENTS OF BOTTLE. It seemed a bit extreme as yesterday morning I had more hair cut off than was left on my head (I have gone really short), but I thought I’d try to get as much on my head as possible.

I think it is probably the combination of my rushing and using the full bottle that resulted in the fact I now have the following in shade Plum (316):

  • my hair (at least that was intentional)
  • my right wrist
  • my left second, third and fourth toes
  • my left arm pit
  • part of my bathroom shelf
  • a section of my bathroom sink
  • two sections of the bathroom floor

I have no no advice on removing much of the above, but I do have a tip on not what to do. Do not use home made make up remover on the bathroom floor. It may work fantabulously on removing mascara from your face, but it’s not so effective on hair dye that has dried, and it has the added complication of turning the floor into some sort of ice rink…

Hey ho, on the upside, it turns out make up remover does remove hair dye from ears and I am grateful for that.  I’m not sure I could have carried off plum lug holes :o)

Norman demonstrates his effortless style.

Norman demonstrates his effortless style.

 

 

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Neighbours and pants

I love Pog Towers – it’s just the right size for me and Norman Cat.  We just aren’t too keen on the neighbours.

We have quite bad neighbour issues on one side of noise, children picking my flowers, their rubbish in my garden…  I could go on, but you get the picture.  On the other side I have Y – fronts man, who, as soon as there is a ray of sunshine, whips off his clothes and wanders round his (very small) garden in his white Y-fronts.  Since my first summer here, I’ve grown the bushes on my side to avoid as many accidental eyefuls as possible, and that is why when I just went to get my washing in I made sure I was facing the garden on the other side.

And there I was unpegging my washing as the neighbour’s brother (who, I assume has moved in with the other 289 family members who seem to live there at any one time) came out into the back garden and studied his reflection while he struck a few poses in the conservatory windows.  In his pants.  What is it with my neighbours and their pants?! We then had that very awkward moment when it dawned on him that someone was watching, turned round and caught my eye, and attempted a disinterested saunter back inside.

Since I started writing this, Y-fronts man has come out for a spot of gardening and is currently swearing, loudly and repeatedly at a plant which presumably is not fulfilling its plant role.  I can’t tell from here if Y-fronts are also involved…

Norman and I might love it, but I am thinking that we need to invest in a six foot fence.  That, or we need to move to a shed in the middle of a field.  Yes, that would be perfect: no neighbours at all.  Just a whole heap of wildlife for Norman to bring home and hide….  Ah, bugger.

And unrelated, but for a Friday smile, here are some pictures I took this week of the window of a travel clinic.  Look at the labels :o)

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No story here

It’s not often I don’t have much to say.  I’m known as the one who talks the most at my beginners running course (I was reassured by some lovely people in the group that it’s ok; someone needs to be the one to start conversations.  I couldn’t see if they had crossed their fingers behind their backs though…). Someone mentioned that they do two fitball classes – one with me and one without.  Apparently the one without is an awful lot quieter (although I thought I mostly just sung under my breath when I was struggling with the tricky bits).  And I’ve been told off in yoga for chatting too much :o(

I do try the quiet thing.  I’m just not all that great with silences.  But tonight I don’t really have a story for you: I’m sorry.

I could tell you how I managed a run on our first (only?) boiling hot on Sunday on my own, and another one in the pouring rain before work this morning.  I could tell you how the running is clearly not helping with the unfatness plan as the scales are only going up.  And I know muscle weighs more than fat, but I put on ½ stone in my sleep at the weekend.  Seriously.  I weighed myself before bed and again when I got up.  HALF A STONE.  Surely that can’t even be possible.  But that is not terribly interesting.

I could tell you that when I opened my conservatory door on Sunday I could smell that Norman had played hide and seek with a new gift.  It turned out to be a squirrel (and if that is his new gift of choice, it could explain the recent bite that resulted in my helping the vet out with his mortgage the other week).  But that is a bit icky and I am pretty sure that you don’t want to see the picture.

I do have a bit of a story, but I can’t tell you yet as the entire plot hasn’t quite unfolded.  It has made me very smiley though (unlike that extra ½ stone and the stinky squirrel).  So for once, you’ll have to make the most of the fact that I’m staying quiet(ish) and the smile tonight is mine :o)

In the absence of a story, he's a picture of my train station in the morning, looking rater pretty, I think.

In the absence of a story, he’s a picture of my train station in the early morning, looking rater pretty, I think.

Posted in Bumpkinsville, cats, exercise, fitness, Pog Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Mind reading and running

I can’t be 100% sure, but I think Facebook has developed the ability to read my mind.

Four weeks ago, as part of the unfatness plan part 289, I started a beginners running course.  It was supposed to be one coached session a week, but I seem to have started going to an additional session as well. This week I have even attempted running on my own, with varying degrees of success.  Monday and Tuesday it nearly broke me, this morning I had a brilliant run interspersed with horses, gates, stiles and a railway crossing (which was a little bit scary with no gates, people or anything to tell you when to walk over the lines). I even had a bit of a brainwave when it came to carrying my front door key….with no pockets and very few layers as it is so warm, I popped it down the front of my bra (should you try this, the only slight downside is having to scrabble around in your bra when you get home as it turns out keys can travel quite far….).

Anyway, I have posted on Facebook about my excitement of moving from running for 30 seconds, to 6.5 minutes to a whole 10.5 minutes in one go this week.  That is pretty much it.  But Facebook knows.  It knows I alternate between loving and hating this new exercising malarkey and it shows me this slightly unnerving ability through suggested posts like these:

Today you love running...

Today you love running…do a marathon (!)

Today you hate running. Buy this so you can tell everyone...

Today you hate running. Buy this so you can tell everyone…

It is a little bit disturbing…but I am quite interested to see where these go. If marathons are being suggested four weeks into this, what will the Facebook brains be considering if I keep this up for a few months?! :o)

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Pog moments

I had one of those moments I have occasionally the other day where I wondered if I’d forgotten how to Pog.  Nothing had gone spectacularly, publicly wrong.  I’d not said or done completely the wrong thing for a while.  Had turning 40 actually resulted in my quietly growing up?  Every time I think this sort of thing though though, I rapidly have to unthink it so I don’t know why I gave it thinking space.

I had encouraged matters.  Everyone at work has been looking very smart recently.  I, on the other hand, have not.  I blame it on giving up smoking (bear with me here).  Before I gave up, I had one pair of smart black work trousers.  The sort that are virtually impossible to find these days.  They went with everything, and they pretty much made up my work uniform.  Since swapping cigarettes for calories, I can still get in the trousers, it’s just movement at any speed could result in an arrest for indecent exposure.  So they have been swapped out for older, bigger, shapeless clothes that are less likely to split at the seams if I make any sudden movements.  This week though, the sun came out and I thought I could make one old pair of trousers look half decent with a pretty white shirt.  I even ironed it – there was proper effort involved here.

To reward myself for the effort, I actually left my desk at lunch time and bought the most gorgeous looking salad, rather than having the home made, squashed in my rucksack food I’ve stuck to all this year.  The salad was my downfall.  I sat at my desk, speared a cherry tomato and it…well, it exploded all over my lovely crisp white shirt.  I went straight to the kitchen, dabbed fairy liquid strategically then poured water pretty much everywhere.  Then remembered this was a white shirt. Now a completely see through shirt…  Walking back to my desk required some interesting moves, the next meeting involved a cardigan and a scarf.  But there was worse to come.

Two days before I gave up smoking I cut my caffeine intake from 12 coffees and 10 teas a day to one of each and now drink herbal tea like nobody’s business (and now I am both fat and tired).  This week at the supermarket one flavour was on half price, so I bought a box for my office stash.  It was lovely, and by lunch time I’d had four mugs of the stuff.  Over my fifth mug I thought I’d spend a few minutes finding out if there were any health benefits to this raspberry leaf tea, so I Googled.  And it turned out that in the quantity I’d consumed, I had prepared my uterus for imminent labour.  Hey ho, at least it tasted good, even if the health benefits weren’t going to be particular useful.

Not long after the wet shirt / overdressed meeting, my tummy started gurgling.  Not in a hungry way – despite that evil cherry tomato, I’d happily polished off the rest of the salad.  It was more of a – and I apologise that we might be moving into the realms of too much information here – more of a need to get to the toilet pretty quickly way.  This continued for most of the afternoon.  I continued drinking the raspberry leaf tea as it was rather lovely.

When I got home I thought to look raspberry leaf in my big herb book.  Not only had I prepared my uterus for childbirth and, it turns out a number of other good things – were I about to bring a new life in the world – and drunk about 5 times more than was needed to achieve those results, but I had also drunk a few litres of something that is both a diuretic and laxative.  It seems to me that raspberry leaf is pretty determined to get something out of your body one way or another.  I’m just pleased that I got home in one piece.  And that my shirt was dry by then.

So I might be older, but I can definitely still Pog.  I’m just not sure it’s a terribly good thing. :o)

Taken on Wednesday night's run.

Taken on Wednesday night’s run.

 

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Happy Furday!

I think we have all been together long enough to know that Norman is pretty much my child equivalent.  And today is his sixth birthday! I sang happy birthday to him at 4.30am this morning and he didn’t seem impressed, so please indulge me instead, with a few Norman (and Charlie) pictures:

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Well, it is his birthday :o)

Well, it is his birthday :o)

Charlie disappeared a few years ago. One day I hope I will be able to tell the story of someone in the outer Hebrides scanning a cat by chance and getting Charlie home full of tales, but until then, <shouts> HAPPY FURDAY CHARLIE! And happy Furday to the fantastic furball that is Norman. Even if you did bugger off out this evening as soon as you had your dinner! :o)

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