And the secret weapon is…

Posted on October 9, 2025 by thepogblog

Dear People in my computer:

In that last post about Pog’s Chaotic Kitchen Care, I might have got a bit cocky.  I thought we’d sorted Dad’s weight, he was on the up and I could cross that off my list.

But anyone is any sort of similar situation to this knows that these things are not linear.  They are rollercoasters.  That are on fire.  And heading off the side of a cliff.  With absolutely no brakes.  And Dad demonstrated this brilliantly by struggling through another boat of poorliness that left him unable to eat much and took him back down to just 8stone 10.

BUT we found a secret weapon!  Mr R is training to be a nutritionalist.  Not because he wants to be a nutritionalist you understand, that would be far too obvious.  No, he’s training because he does big running races (50-100 mile types) and wants to properly understand how to fuel his body, so thought he’d learn for himself.  And recently in his quest he completed a module on the elderly, and discovered the secret weapon.  Powdered milk.

Who’d have thunk it?

You see, older people need more protein to maintain their muscles and they need extra vitamins – A and D are added to milk powder.  A helps your immune system, D keeps bones, teeth and muscles healthy. Milk powder is also relatively calorie dense.  And tasteless. 🙂

So needless to say, Dad now has milk powder (as well as butter and cream) in his mash, in cheese sauces and in fact anything where I can get away with it.

I’ve also changed up my cheese sauce recipe to make it as calorie dense as possible.  Incase this is useful to anyone, this is what I do:

Forget white / cheese sauce in it’s traditional sense entirely.  Instead…

  • melt full fat cream cheese with a bit of full fat milk
  • mix in double cream
  • add a few tablespoons of milk powder
  • (If it’s getting too thick add more milk)
  • add a heap of grated cheese
  • add some salt and pepper

….and use milk vs cornflour to reach the consistency you want

The great thing about this version is that when it’s frozen then microwaved, it doesn’t go stodgy like a proper sauce does.

Extra tip: If you’re prepping meals for someone in need of calories, pop a blob of butter on the top of everything when you’ve prepped it up so that as it is microwaved it doesn’t dry out and there are a few more calories in the pot.

There’s loads of extra information on how to fortify food here too. (Thank you, Mr R)

I forgot to take the scales with me after the first week, but this week on the new CKC regime for two weeks, Dad had put on FOUR pounds.  He was a whole nine stone (and a teeny bit!). He did say he had to go and take the weights out of his pockets after I weighed him, but I’m pretty sure he was kidding.

And even better, he’s been rating the meals I cook, and I’ve been getting some pretty good scores 😁😁😁 (not bad when you consider that as a vegetarian, I can’t even taste most of what I make him!)

Posted in COPD, muddled life, muddled life guide, Muddled Life Tip, Pog Life, Tuesday | Leave a comment

Introducing…Frank

Posted on October 5, 2025 by thepogblog

I meant to write this post a couple of weeks ago but All The Things keep happening and time to write a blog post has just not been one of them.

But if I don’t do it now, it might remain one of the many, many posts that end up staying in my head and I don’t want that, because I’d like to introduce you to Frank:

Frank was the florist in my village until a few weeks ago when with no fanfare at all, the florist closed.  Luckily, someone had posted on the village Facebook group that it was imminent and I rushed down to say my goodbyes

Because you see, Frank is one of those people I don’t actually know – in his case I’ve never seen him outside the shop he worked in, I don’t know his surname, and I’ve never had so much as a cup of tea with him.  But he has a little space in my heart.

Frank was known locally – at least a few years ago – as someone who could be a bit tricky.  He didn’t do niceties for the sake of them and he could be more than a little direct.  However, it didn’t take much to realise that Frank was actually a mirror, and if you went in smiling and asked him how he was, his eyes shone and he’d be yours for as long as you were in front of him.

He made gorgeous bouquets, planted up planters (and when they didn’t have any he planted up ones I took in at no charge other than the plants) and he told me when to buy plants and when there were better alternatives ‘God, no, don’t buy that foxglove.  Find some that are going to seed and plant those instead…’

But what I loved most about visiting Frank was his stories.  You had to dig a little, but he had many – from his first job at London Zoo aged 16 where there were military style uniform checks, to his love of fashion from working in all sorts of places resulting in boxes of brand new clothes at home that he’s never worn as they weren’t right in a florist, to his agreement with his neighbours that he’d always leave his work boots outside and his door unlocked when he was at home, so should they not move for a while, they would know to check on him.

Frank has alway made me feel good too.  Even more recently when I don’t bother with makeup and wear the same oversized t-shirt or jumper (depending on the season) and my jeans, he’d find something, telling me that my boots are ‘right on trend’ or that ‘that colour really suits you’.

I took Frank a card I wrote where I tried to use words to tell him that he had been a light in the village for me and I bought some of the tin containers the flowers were displayed in.  We cut out their bottoms and planted them in the front garden where the earth is terrible and only weeds grow.  I’ve layered bulbs in them (apparently its called a ‘bulb lasagne’ – who knew?!) and I hope that they might look lovely in the spring.  Until then I have pansies, violas poking out there heads and inside, one of the last bouquets Frank made for the shop.

I do find it amazing how much someone you don’t really know can touch your life and add more than a few smiles. I’m going to miss that lovely man.

Posted in muddled life, the people you meet | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

I was doing it all wrong…

Posted on September 25, 2025 by thepogblog

This week’s Tuesday included a surprisingly fantabulous trip to a hospital with Dad.

It was fantabulous on a number of different levels:

  1. Dad’s breathing is better than it has been in ages and he was able to chat.  I heard stories I’d never heard (how much he hated being in the cadets and how he was the only one in his group to fail at his soldier-ing test because he refused to react when told there was a sniper ahead as ‘it was just silly – clearly there wasn’t.’ 😂). It did also mean he had the breath to be a terrible passenger and remind me of the speed limit every couple of miles…
  2. We went The Pretty Way.  Dad avoids motorways at all costs and had been going The Pretty Way for years to visit friends and for hospital visits (Mum went a lot with her five different cancers).  It was indeed pretty and he know a surprising amount of local history that – thanks to the ability to breathe and talk – he passed on – between speed warnings and soldier stories.
  3. It turns out that I have been doing hospital visits all wrong.  Before we left Dad handed me hot cross buns to butter and a box of Tunnocks tea cakes.  We ate them in the waiting room (Not the teacakes – Dad said he gets the marshmallow round his mouth and wanted to wait until after his appointment incase he got in a mess.).  So it turns out that to make a hospital visit truly fantabulous, you have to take a picnic. 🙂

Mum, on the other hand was not as excitable this week and after rapidly finishing her coffee and plum – while I was only half way through mine and only on cake number one (they have great cakes in the special coffee area of the home.  I am attempting to somewhat justify the fees there by eating as many as I can at each visit…) sorry – while I was only half way through mine she looked at me, told me that she had ‘seen enough’ and could she go back now?  There is no filter with dementia, but at least you know where you stand 😳

Posted in care home, COPD, dementia, family, looking after Mum, memory, muddled life, muddled life guide, stroke, Tuesday | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

From Hello to Help: A Ring Doorbell’s Career Change

Posted on September 18, 2025 by thepogblog

The idea behind this rather epic practical tip came from my Tiny Friend.  Tiny Friend looked after a relative for a long time and I knew about her tip a while ago but it’s only recently become relevant.

When Dad’s breathing is bad, getting to the phone, or just making a phone call can take more puff than his lungs can manage.  He mostly communicates via Facebook Messenger and email these days, but none of these options would necessarily work in an emergency.

We had talked about one of those alarms you can press that call relatives /contact an operator / call 999 when activated but that was a firn ‘no’ from Dad every time.

Then I remembered Tiny Friend’s solution.  She had used Ring door bells at her relatives house.  In her case they were to monitor via video to make sure all was ok, but I figured it could be used as an alarm for Dad.

So now Dad has a mobile Ring doorbell.  It’s connected to my and both my sisters phones so that should he need us, he just needs to press it once and we’ll all get alerted at the same time, giving a much better chance that one of us will be able to connect with Dad immediately and get him the support that he needs.  We can even see him as we talk to him so he can answer questions with head shakes and nods if talking puff has disappeared, as it sometimes does.

If I look at the app when the bell hasn’t been rung it’s mostly just views of ceilings as Dad puts Ringo down in different rooms, but that in itself is quite a reassuring sort of thing to see.

(It’s also worth noting that if you don’t need to record calls etc  – and I’m not sure why you would in this situation- you don’t need a monthly plan with Ring, so it’s a one off £100 cost.  That’s less than the quarterly charge of a more standard alarm).

So thank you, Tiny Friend. For this and for the huge support you always are; it is very much appreciated.

And thank you, Ringo (the door bells name, given to it by Dad). We really appreciate your career change from traditional door bell to support bell. I hope it will be very fulfilling. 🙂

Posted in COPD, family, muddled life, muddled life guide, Muddled Life Tip | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

🎈🎈🎈Happy birthday, Dad!🎈🎈🎈

Posted on September 14, 2025 by thepogblog


Not quite what we had planned, but a damn good cake (my offer to make a chocolate poo was passed over 🤷🏼‍♀️), connecting all of us through the powers of technology and most of us in person too. 💜

Posted in care home, COPD, dementia, family, looking after Mum, memory, stroke | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

There is a possibility I might have magical powers…

Posted on September 12, 2025 by thepogblog

To set the scene, It’s day 3 of our South Downs Way (SDW) walk and we’re due to walk 28km.  Day 2 we’d walked 23km and by the 20km mark my shoulders and hips hurt so much from my rucksack I was almost in tears.  I couldn’t even tip my head back to drink from the water bottle (At this point I learned to ‘hinge from the hips’ instead).  I’d spent the last 2 km of the walk working out how to get home on my own and leave Mr R and Percy to do the hike without me.

So I was struggling a bit, but decided to start Day 3 with my big girl pants on and get on with it.  Obviously, it started raining heavily, it was the most hilly walk of the week and was the day I congratulated Mr R for instinctively knowing where to go, only to realise we’d taken a wrong turn…

Anyway, we decided to take a different approach to Day 2 and walk as far as we could before we stopped to eat.  This was in part because it was raining so hard that making and eating porridge was going to be hard, and part because we realised that we are far faster and focussed first thing, possibly because that’s when we’re both used to doing most of our usual running.

We were a few hours in, in the middle of absolutely nowhere.  We had made the fantastic discovery that the only thing better than the perfectly ripe blackberries hiding in the hedgerows was perfectly ripe blackberries hiding in the hedgerows that have been kissed by the rain (seriously, if you see any in a rain storm or even a short shower, have try – they are delicious!).  We’d had a fair few though, and I’d started to day dream about other food.

And in the middle of nowhere, a couple of houses at the ends of long drives appeared in the distance .  And at the end of one of the long drives, I could make out a wooden table.  I decided to incorporate it into my day dream and said to Mr R:

‘See that table in the distance?  I’m daydreaming up the perfect vegetarian breakfast on it.  I’m thinking brioche bun with grilled halloumi, a little chilli jam and lambs lettuce.  What would you have?’

Mr R went for shakshouka, which I always find tricky to make and get the eggs just right, so I’m not terribly keen, but presumably I’d not cooked his daydream.

We giggled about the fact the only actual options we had was porridge, or our dehydrated pouches of lunch food as there were no stops near by the entire day.

But as we got closer, something weird happened.  On the far left of the table something came into view.  A plate covered with a glass dome.  As we reached it we could that see under the glass dome was one perfect, enormous flapjack.

Under the table was a plastic box which I opened .  Inside, there was a plate of flapjacks and a small sign saying they were £1 each, and to leave the money in the box.  We bought three.  And it turned out that the very best vegetarian breakfast either of us needed was a perfectly cooked, enormous flapjack that tasted better than any flapjack either of us had ever eaten.

And I think I might have magiced them 😉

Posted in camping, hiking, hiking with a dog, holiday, muddled life, Pog Life, walking | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What the hell was that?! A week walking the South Downs Way

Posted on September 11, 2025 by thepogblog

My plan to post daily on our South Downs Way walk failed because…well, All The Things 🤦🏼‍♀️

First: By almost the end of Day Two I didn’t see how I was going to get to the end of Day Two, let alone any other days.

Second: We were staying in campsites with limited – if any –  access to electricity and we needed to charge phones, watches and Percy’s tracker.  We had bought solar power thingys to create out own power, but you need sun for that…

Third: It was far, far harder than I’d anticipated walking 20km+ a day with a 12kg rucksack.  By the time we pitched our tent each night and eaten our rehydrated dinner, I mostly wanted to sleep.

But….we (mostly) made it.

The second night we washed our t-shirts, pants and socks (wash one, wear one to keep the weight down) only to discover there was no chance of drying them before bed.

So we rigged the washing line up inside the two man and a dog tent and…both woke up with wet t-shirts on our faces.  It was a little like being suffocated by dead fish.

‘Luckily’ Mr R recalled that when in the forces his Dad had put damp washing in his sleeping bag to dry it.  So for the next few nights I slept with the dead fishes…

On the third night we had the unusual experience of sleeping at a site on top of the downs (most sites are in the valleys where villages are, so you climb down in the evening, up in the morning and stay on the top of the downs (with a few mountainous hills on the way) during the day.

This night was great though – no additional steep bits and a stunning view.  It did only have one portaloo which was pretty much full and the ‘shower’ was a hose in a roofless horse box, but I had a wet wipe wash and we agreed we’d just get up and out early the next morning and that would be fine.  And it would have been, had the storm not hit.  Could I remind you wee were on the top of a hill?  We spent pretty much the whole night with the tent being bashed so hard that the poles bent, wondering if the canvas was going to stand up to the winds.

We made it through, but we’d had pretty much no sleep and it was a 30km day.  And by this time there was a weather warning in place.

The wind was still howling and the rain was bucketing it down.  This was a bit of a lull while we had our morning coffee:

We agreed that the only option for our sanity and Percy’s welfare was to miss this day completely,  So we got the bus to our next stop.  The rain was still torrential when we arrived and we couldn’t pitch the soaking tent in it, so we stopped in the shed / summer house that housed the campsite vending machine and Percy and I slept…

We started again the next day in the rain but the weather improved gradually –  so much that by the last day we were actually hot.

So we did it, but not entirely.  We stopped at the South Downs shop on our bus ride day and saw some  South Downs 100 mile walk badges.  I said we couldn’t buy them because we wouldn’t really have done it, but a very lovely South Downs Ranger called Ethan overheard and asked what had happened.  He told us his patch was the leg we were missing and he’d walked it hundreds of times in his job and we could absolutely take a couple of his walks to complete ours 🙂 .  So I bought the badges but have not attached them to anything yet.

We will be going back to do that leg so we can wear our badges with pride.  But we will NOT be camping at that campsite this time. 😬

There are quite a few stories from the week you might like. I’ll be posting them soon – I just wanted to respond to a few ‘proof of life’ requests I’ve had after going quiet on here after Day 1 🤓

 

PS:  There is NOTHING better than the night sky in the middle of the South Downs.  So Many Stars.

PPS: It was mostly Type 1 and 2 Fun.  A bit of Type 3.  And I might have discovered a teeny bit of Type 4…

Posted in camping, hiking, hiking with a dog, holiday, muddled life, Pog Life, Pog Pictures, walking | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

SDW Day 1

Posted on August 31, 2025 by thepogblog

14km to first stop done.
Showers, sun and rainbows.
And type 1 fun 😁

Posted in dogs, hiking with a dog, muddled life, walking | Tagged | Leave a comment

What type of fun is this?

Posted on August 30, 2025 by thepogblog

Swearing imminent.  You’ve been warned.

Oh fuck, oh fuck oh FUCKITY FUCK. Oh fuck a duck.

What have I agreed to do?  Tomorrow morning we get on a bus, then a train, then another train, all the way to Winchester.  And then we walk back.  And a fair bit more – to Eastbourne in fact, with the plan to walk the South Downs Way.  Carrying heavy bags, including a tent and sleeping bags and…have you see the weather?!  There is water.  Quite a lot of it…

We have now created a military style spread sheet of distances, water refill points, campsite facilities (hose in a shed, compost toilets etc) campsite leaving times and hopeful arrival times.  And now I am having a panic.  100 miles on foot is a looooong way.

So last night Mr R decided a pep talk was in order.  He explained that I need to remember there are two types of fun:

Type 1 is actual fun; when you are having a good time and know you are at the time.

Type 2 is the type of fun that you don’t know you are having at the time.  The type that feels like hard work and maybe a bit of a trial, but afterwards you will look back and remember that it as fun.

He told me that there will at least be Type 2 fun.  So, um….that’s ok then.

And then this morning he said he’d remembered that there is actually a third type.  Type 3 fun is when you resort to praying that you get through the next little bit as it’s very much touch and go, but again, afterwards (sometimes quite a long time afterwards) it’s fun.  Uh huh.

So I think the purpose of the pep talk was to instil in me that we will, at all times be having some sort of fun.  What it’s actually achieved is making me question my current life choices…

Mr R has also suggested that a few ‘Marching Songs’ might get us through any tricky bits.  In our final practice walk last week we decided to try these out, but the only song we could think of was ‘Little Donkey’ which we’d both sung at primary schools as part of a nativity play (I was dressed as an angel and played the xylophone – in the early 80’s; obviously not last Sunday on the way up Rookery Hill). We sung it with gusto, but I’m not sure it will get me through much Type 3 fun.

So, if over the next week you happen to be on the South Downs and pass two people carrying large rucksacks (possibly with the previous days pants, socks and t-shirt draped over them trying to dry), accompanied by a crazed cocker spaniel, possibly praying, possibly crying, possibly singing ‘Little Donkey’ though gritted teeth, please say hi, or feel free to join in, or give us another blimin’ song to sing 😁

Right…now we just have to pack for two humans and one dog…in these:

Posted in camping, hiking, hiking with a dog, holiday, Pog Life, walking | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Pog’s Chaotic Kitchen Care

Posted on August 27, 2025 by thepogblog

So, while Mum is now nicely settled in her new digs, has passed her probation (!) and pretty much expects to be received as royalty by all people at all times, we can focus on Dad a little bit more.

Dad has always been a skinny malinky but he’s been taking things to extremes.  To be fair, it’s not his fault.  He has very little appetite and when you are fighting to breathe a lot of the time it takes up many calories, and eating can be tricky  – sometimes impossible. And even just cooking some potatoes to go with a pasty is too much to manage some days.

So we’re on a bit of a losing battle…or we were.  Until Pog’s Chaotic Kitchen Care (my especially created enterprise 😁) stepped up and started creating seriously high calorie snacks  and dinners from scratch (so I could fit in all the calories) in tiny portions that were’t too overwhelming.

This is what week one looked like:

(This is obviously after I had cleared up the complete chaos I’d created.  I am still that girl who only ate toast an yoghurt for many, many single years due to lack of cooking skills at heart 🤦🏼‍♀️)

Obviously because nothing tends to go to plan, Dad got an infection in his mouth and when he finally could eat, it was only ice cream that he could face.

But since he got better he’s been having one of the Pog’s CKC meals a night, and sometimes the really tiny pots not in the picture for lunch, and do you know what?

In the last two weeks Dad has put ON a whole pound!

After losing pounds for the last few months I count that as a win.  And we will keep on keeping on.  And who knows?  Maybe Pog’s Chaotic Kitchen Care will become a thing….(for people not adverse to the odd Percy hair in their home made lasagne, obviously 😁)

Posted in Cooking, COPD, food, muddled life, muddled life guide | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments