The Dog based Tuesday

Posted on July 4, 2024 by thepogblog

This week at Tesco after buying a large number of puddings (to try to entice Dad to eat a little more):

And balancing these with – shock, horror!- fresh vegetables (because the steps to the cellar which houses the freezer are a bit tricky on the way up when you are struggling with your breathing so you can’t actually get to the frozen peas or chips)

We had to use the self service checkout in order to make our appointment at the hospital.  It was a week of discombobulating change… but it was ok because Mums favourite cashier wasn’t there anyway.

We made it to the hospital for blood tests – the first step in an unbelievably long process to get seen by the memory clinic (but that is a story for another day), and after that, this Tuesday was mostly related to dogs.

The fact that mine wouldn’t play or wave, immense amounts of slobber and remembering Mum’s dog that dad thinks she bought from her wages at the wool shop where she worked when she left school.  I’m still finding it amazing that she can remember details she can remember from years and years ago (the name of her sister’s first husband in this instance), but not being able to retain new information for sometimes more than a few seconds.

I love that I learned about Mums first dog and subsequent animals they had through sending Dad a photo I’d found .  But it does feel a bit frustrating – I want all the stories that I don’t know, but how can you ask about something you don’t know about?!

Here’s this Tuesday condensed into about 3.5 minutes 🙂

Posted in COPD, dementia, dogs, family, looking after Mum, memory, stroke, Tuesday, Tuesday TV | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Changes and a 999 call

Posted on June 28, 2024 by thepogblog

I’ve always been a bit fascinated with change.

I think my biggest personal change was going from a quite committed spinster life in a teeny tiny house in Bumpkinsville, filled almost entirely with me, Norman cat, an awful lot of wool and a crochet habit (see the first seven years of this blog 😬 ) to being a married person in a house big enough for all of the above, Mr R, Percy dog and two stepsons.

It was our second wedding anniversary this week and I still can’t quite believe my now husband took a chance that a rather lonely caterpillar had the possibility of a life with wings…

We went on a picnic at Ditchling Beacon – the highest point near here – ‘the top of the world’.  We always go to the top of the world wherever we are, either to be happy or get perspective when things are tricky.  I didn’t know I’d need both within 24 hours.

What I try to always remember in my life and in work with my clients is that positive change can be just around the corner, even if you can’t even imagine what that could be right now.

But of course there is the other change too.  In the words of the Baz Luhrmann song using words written by Mary Schmich:

‘The real troubles in your lifeAre apt to be things that never crossed your worried mindThe kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday’

In this instance Mary, you were impressively only about 2.5 hours out.

Because around 1.30pm this Tuesday, when Mum and I decided to stop tying up and pruning the roses in the garden and go inside for a coffee she told me she felt sick. As I tried to get her to the toilet, she collapsed.

I honestly thought Mum was dying.  Her eyes rolled back and stared through me, her breath rattled in her chest and her lips went a funny colour.  I supported her head and dialled 999 and for a few split seconds thought she had gone and that this was not the way it should be…

A few minutes later her eyes focussed, and her breathing changed, and I was still trying to convince the 999 operator that she really had not been stung by a bee; no this was not anaphylactic shock, and alternating between being grateful that help was coming and we were highest priority, and terrified that it was still going to take ‘around 30 minutes’.

It was a chaotic thirty minutes and in that time I discovered that Mum can be quite prolific when it comes to throwing up….and that Dad can’t handle someone being sick and starts retching himself, so while trying to clean I was grabbling the bowl (their casserole dish as it was the first thing I found🤦🏼‍♀️) from Dad and trying to empty it before mum threw up again.  (While also retching as I’m not great with sick either, but there was no way all three of us could throw up…! 🤢)

Sister 2 beat the ambulance, Sister 1 arrived soon after. They drove to the hospital, I went in the ambulance with Mum.  We left Dad at home as his breathing hadn’t been great before all the excitement and now it was at a stage where I wondered if we could pop him on some of the oxygen the paramedics had before we left…

Mum is ok.  It might have been a stroke, might have been a seizure.  The CT scan didn’t show anything but apparently if anything had happened on the same side of her head as the last stroke it wouldn’t show up.  So the next step is a trip to the GP this afternoon to see what they think about an MRI scan.

In our family style we made the most of the situation – even managing a picnic from Costa on the floor of Mums bay while she was having her scans, to the amusement of hospital staff.  We were really lucky that Mum was discharged after only four hours or so and had recovered so well that she requested a cheese sandwich for her tea before I drove home.

Change happens – good and less good.  Either way, it’s often unexpected.  And it might sneak up and blindside you at 4pm – or 1.30pm –  on some idle Tuesday.  So Say the things.  Do the things.  Make the smiles.  Now. 🙂

Posted in COPD, dementia, family, looking after Mum, memory, stroke, Tuesday | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Hello again, Ithaca

Posted on June 27, 2024 by thepogblog

If you scroll waaaay back on this blog you’ll find posts from holidays in Ithaca.  Mum and Dad have been going for 17 years.  Sometimes I tagged along, sometimes we all did.

We are lucky in some ways that the rapid changes in our family gave us enough time to realise one family holiday in Ithaca was a now or never opportunity.

I admit, I thought it was daft.  My sisters convinced us all.  So a couple of weeks ago all 10 of us: Mum, Dad, me, Mr R, Sister 1 her husband and Little Pea, and Sister 2, her partner and Little Wisp all got on a plane and went back to the Greek island we all know so well.

As we landed Mum told us it was the best holiday ever and her favourite bit had been the dancing.  We had to tell her we had just landed…In Greece. 🤦🏼‍♀️. I think that set the tone for the week.

Highlights included:

  • Mum getting the giggles a number of times
  • Discovering Dad couldn’t manage the walk from the hotel to the restaurant because of his breathing problems so borrowing a wheelchair (not a simple task on an island 117.8 km²)
  • Realising the wheelchair had no footplates and that holding his feet in the air for the duration was as tricky as breathing
  • Finding three alternatives to footplates, with varying degrees of success
  • Attempting to reteach mum the word ‘fish’ and resorting to actions instead

All this is on this two minutes of video which I hopes makes you smile half as much as it did me.

We also discovered that while mum can’t remember something in the last five minutes (the word ‘fish’ for example 😬), she can remember incidents and places and walks going back 15 years in a fair bit of detail.

There were a few challenges.  There were a few moments of insight I’d not had into the future which were a bit sad, there were some gritted teeth, but mostly there were smiles and laughter.

And I think once we’d actually had the holiday, Mum enjoyed it even more than she had first thought.  I’m pretty sure there was no dancing though 😉

Posted in COPD, dementia, family, holiday, looking after Mum, memory, stroke, Tuesday TV | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The potentially perfect snackbag

Posted on June 10, 2024 by thepogblog

You know how there are things that happen in life that absolutely confirm you are getting older?  One happened the other day.  Amazon delivered my order of a ‘SKYSPER Sling Bag Crossbody Backpack – Chest Shoulder Cross Body Bag Travel Hiking Casual Daypack’ and my excitement levels were high.

I feel like I need to tell you the back story here.

Once upon a time, many years ago…well, about six years ago, I went on my first holiday with Mr R and his boys.  I was not a step mum in those days.  It was very clear I was only just about tolerated in fact.  And that was fair enough; the boys were 12 and 8 and didn’t really know me, and it turned out I didn’t really know them.

We were in Cornwall and on one of the first days of the holiday we went to St Michaels Mount.  This is a castle that you walk to at low tide over a causeway.  It was lovely and I really wanted to take a look around and hoped that the boys imaginations would be captured by the place.

The boys however moved from being relatively interested to monosyllabic in what felt like minutes.  They asked for snacks.  We had no snacks.  They became mute with hangryness.

You see, I had no idea at that point that boys require feeding approximately every 2.5 minutes.  And if you don’t, thunder clouds descend and it is not good.  We cut our trip around the castle short, ignored the gardens entirely and made our way to the café where they embraced their inner locusts and ate everything in sight.

So from that day on, I learned that you go nowhere – and I mean nowhere – without snacks.  And the snack bag was born.

And as Mr R and I got more into expeditions on the bike and walking and the like, we recognised the importance of the snack bag for ourselves too.  But the snack bag holds either a couple of sandwiches and an apple or a bottle of drink and a small snack each.  And Percy usually drinks the entire bottle himself. And then the zip pulls broke.

So I ordered a bigger and better bag with two external bottle holders so now I can fit in a decent sized set of snacks and drinks and open it without having to use my teeth, but not have to carry a full sized rucksack.  I cannot tell you how happy this, combined with the number of useful pockets it contains has made me.  Maybe you can tell that though. 😃

I will be testing out the Snack Bag 2.0 over the next week and for reasons that will become clear I think it will come into its own; I bet you can’t wait to hear all about it 😉

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The poke in the eye Tuesday

Posted on June 6, 2024 by thepogblog

This is the Tuesday where Mum had to open the Humbugs while we queued to pay in Tesco as we were there so long she got hungry (we were in the longest queue but she wouldn’t contemplate joining any others as she wanted to see her favourite cashier.  Mum has become a creature of habit in a big way).

And also the one where she got so excited it might be her birthday soon (its not, it’s in March), that she shouted ‘me!’ when I asked whose birthday it was we were buying cards for, and rather than pointing at her chest, she poked her finger in her eye and it did that big-red-lump-and-almost-bleeding thing.

Then she tried to tell me, and later Dad that it was me who had done it 🤷‍♀️

She did also suggest that I moved into the house a few doors down from her and Dad because ‘they were very nice people and probably wouldn’t mind.’  I didn’t get that on camera though… 😬

We did quite a bit of giggling too, especially when it turned out I was as daft as Mum trying to help her see her eye injury. 🤦🏼‍♀️

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Going back in time in Cornwall

Posted on June 5, 2024 by thepogblog

Have you ever thought back to a childhood holiday and wanted to recreate it?

All my young childhood holidays were spent in North Cornwall and I’ve wanted to go back for years.  a couple of weeks ago week we did.

My Dad has created the most amazing set of scrap books over the years of photos of everyday life to all our holidays, so I took photos of some of his photos so I could go back to the exact spots.

In my head I was time travelling 20 or so years doing this.  And then Mr R (who does the numbers in our house pointed out that for most of the pictures there would be a 43 year gap.  FORTY BLIMIN’ THREE.

F*ck a duck.

Anyway, once I got over this trauma, we got to work.  I thought I’d pop the best ones below:

Trebarwith Strand:

(The house I am standing outside has Teh same name, the beach shop is identical, the public toilets are exactly the same…but the tiny ice cream shop that sold the most amazing tutti frutti ice cream is sadly no longer)

. 

Tintagel Head and church:

The bench has long gone but there were some people sitting near by very entertained by us holding the old photo trying to work out which side of the church we needed to be.  Obviously I decided to explain in detail what we were doing while waving the printouts around to demonstrate my point before realising that they were Austrian, either didn’t speak that much English , or not at the speed I speak and looked thoroughly bemused…

. 

Rough Tor – the highest point in Cornwall.

It took us a while to work out why we couldn’t get the right angle…it turns out trees grow a fair bit in 35 years or so…  It looks like we had much better weather and a more defined path to climb in it 2024.  Although I still got stuck in a boggy bit 🤦🏼‍♀️

. 

Back to Trebarwith Strand:

Me with my first dog, Lucy, and me with my Percy.

And Boscastle:

(apparently that was a random dog that joined me and Mum)

The 43 year thing confused us again as..

This was the only bench…but it’s not quite right.

We decided in the end that the bench it where Mr R is perched but a combination of erosion and health and safety in the intervening years must have resulted in its removal.

And finally, finally my favourite!

The Elephant at Boscastle.  I have no clue how Elephant survived the Boscastle flood in 2004, but he did 😁

Sometimes you shouldn’t go back…sometimes you should.  I’m glad we did 🙂

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Dreams and unicorns

Posted on May 30, 2024 by thepogblog

I was woken this morning at 5am this morning by a bubble of excitement in my tummy.  I had a few of those lovely sleepy moments where I tried to remember what it was about.

Were we going on holiday? No.

Did I have the day off and have amazing plans? No

Was a lovely friend coming to visit? No

And then I remembered…

Dunelm – a homeware store was finally opening just up the road from me at 9am.  Social media had informed me the night before that there would be golden money off tickets hidden around the store, there would be goody bags for the first 50 people in…it was a bit like Christmas.

I don’t need bedding or lights or curtains (actually, I do need curtains as over the years Norman has used his claws to create a constellation effect from one side and it turns out curtain lining does eventually break down, but that feels like a bigger version of buying socks – you know you need them but it seems like a lot of money for something so….functional.)

So anyway, I didn’t need those things.  What I need…neeeed…is a haberdashery type shop that sells all things makingness, rolls of fabric and many, many choices of wool, all just a ten minute walk away to cater for all my spur of the moment makingness plans.  And Dunelm sells all that and I was so blimin’ excited.  (So excited in fact that I’d convinced Stepson 1 to apply for a job there in the hope he’d get a friends and family discount card.)

As I was up early I took Percy for a plod early and put the washing on and did a bit of work and it was still only 8.50am I thought I might as well pop up.  I didn’t want to look too eager but a goody bag might be rather fun…

So up I popped.  As did, apparently, most of Beachville.  Seriously.  The queues for M&S at Christmas in Covid were not that big.  There must have been 200 people wound around the carpark, waiting for the doors to open.  I decided to put my excitement on hold and retain my dignity by pretending I actually just wanted to go to M&S.  One tin of extortionate cat food and a bag of chocolate marzipan balls later, the Dunelm queue had all filtered into the shop so I nonchalantly sauntered over and in…and nearly reversed straight back out.  It was like one of those Boxing Day sales scenes you used to see on TV before everyone just went online to bag their bargains.

But this was for the material!  The wool! The haberdashery that I didn’t yet know I needed!  I pushed on through…round the first floor of curtains and bedding and towels.  Then upstairs to kitchenware and lighting and storage and….where was the bloody Fabric and Haberdashery section?  I asked someone proudly sporting a Dunelm t-shirt, badge and lanyard all in lurid green (just incase one wasn’t enough) and…

…’we don’t have that stuff in this store’.

I felt like a child that didn’t get what they had most hoped for for Christmas.

I left.  Deflated.

But, in some ways this is a good thing. My hands can’t keep up with the makingness ideas I have and there is already a lot of wool and material hidden in various cupboards, suitcases, wardrobes, and boxes around the house already.  Maybe it’s best not to be too close to a plentiful supply or frankly, we wont fit in here much longer.

But I do love my makingness.  And this is the best reaction I’ve had to anything to date , I think.  This is a unicorn cardigan that I imagined in my head and made (without a pattern) for my nice – Little Wisp for her birthday – she opened it, put it straight on and said she never wanted to take it off:

And these are the messages I got from her Mum over the next two days:

And I did all that without help from Dunelm, so Dunelm:  I don’t need you.

Although I might need some of your curtains sometime soonish.  And possibly some storage solutions for…the wool.  And the material.  And the buttons, and the cotton, and the ribbons, and the sequins and the….well, maybe I will be up again soon after all. 🙂

Posted in Beachville, crochet, makingness, sewing | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Quite a chatty Tuesday

Posted on May 16, 2024 by thepogblog

This Tuesday was just about Tesco and a Percy Dog outing for Mum (and fun Power of Attorney discussions for Dad – sorry Dad).  But that didn’t stop a spot of videoing where initially Mum had nothing to say…then – it turned out –  had quite a lot to say.  😁

I love her giggle (1:48); that’s a new thing 💜

Posted in dementia, family, looking after Mum, memory, stroke, Tuesday, Tuesday TV | Leave a comment

Sleep well, my Lovely Nut

Posted on May 13, 2024 by thepogblog

If you’ve been around here a while (‘here’ being The Pog Blog, or my actual life), you might remember The Lovely Nut.

She was an ex boyfriends Mum who – when he and I split up – became my very good friend.  I stayed with her once or twice a year at her ‘House in the Country’, visited her in London, had weekly phone calls with her every Sunday and was frequently driven mad by her and her by me.  And we cared very much about each other.

The Lovely Nut died last week.

My Dear Lovely Nut,

We used to write to each other all the time, didn’t we?  Cards to say ‘I saw this and thought you’d like it’, the gorgeous cards you used to make with your photographs, filled with details of where they were or why you took them.  I still have so many.  You always appreciated a card, even when you then had to phone to tell me off because ‘it was lucky it had arrived as how the postman had managed to decipher my handwriting to read the address you simply didn’t know…’

So, I thought I’d write one last letter to you.

First, I want to tell you how very sorry I am that it’s been so long since I saw you and held your hand. The last time was the Christmas before last when I made you a fairy that looked like you.  I think some of the time you knew who I was then.

The time before that you spent a long time telling me how it was so lucky I had arrived then as I would get to meet one of your closest friends who was getting the train quite a long way to come and visit.  You went on to describe that friend, and I realised it was me you were waiting to arrive.  It made me sad but was such a privilege to hear you describe me and our friendship.

I meant to visit so many times.  I’m so sorry I let life get in the way. I hope that the many, many, many hours we spent together over the years make up for that in some small way.

Because despite our 40-year age gap, we had a lot of fun, didn’t we?  Sewing, sitting in the garden, drinking (many, many) bubbles, you telling me the amazing stories of your life, watching with terror as you lit the (inside!) fire using a jam jar of paraffin, you driving like a loon around country lanes in your Volvo that was pretty much held together with masking tape…

Thank you for your honesty – even when it wasn’t asked for (!)

Thank you for your trust in me

Thank you for encouraging me to make and create

And for loving everything that I made for you (because I think you’d have told me if you didn’t like them as I think you made me take back half of the shop bought things I ever bought you!)

Thank you for your utter belief in me. Not many people are fortunate enough to have a consistent cheerleader for as long as I had in you.

And finally, my Lovely Nut, there is ‘that thing’ we talked about.  And I won’t take any ‘I’ve forgotten because of the Alzheimer’s’ excuses from you.  I know you will remember because we talked about it for years:

We had many, many discussions about ghosts and spirits and agreed that whoever died first would come back and (kindly) haunt the other one, so we’d finally know that all that spooky stuff is real.

Now, I suspect that you might have opted already to be a guardian angel, rather than a ghost.  Because less than a day after you left us, after almost a year, a lot of chaos, many, many phone calls, a lot of stress and sleepless nights, with no fanfare or ceremony, Mums’ Power of Attorney documents arrived in the post.

You always did like helping me out in whatever form that took, so I am taking that as a sign that you are still around in some way, and you are still looking out for me, and I hope you saw me raise a glass of bubbles to you and your loveliness, that night.

I’m going to miss you, but I will be looking out for you and your angel hauntings.

Sleep well, My Lovely Nut.

Posted in Pog Life | Tagged | 2 Comments

The cheese monster Tuesday

Posted on May 9, 2024 by thepogblog

This Tuesday Mum was channelling her inner grumpy toddler.  It took a while to remove the grump and find the happy, but it wasn’t permanent and there seemed to be a bit of a battle between the small grumpy child and the mostly hilarious old lady with dementia.  Mum would hate me calling her an old lady.  She flat out refuses to believe that I am in my late 40s as that would mean she isn’t…  Oh, and the cheese monster woke up and became part of the mix too…

Anyway, despite the internal battle, we had some fun and some interesting conversations.  Most of the conversations were with Percy rather than me, but it turns out he is just the sort of conversationalist Mum has been looking for, so all is good there.  Percy may have the makings of a therapy dog after all; I just have to teach him not to flatten dad so much 😬 🤦🏼‍♀️

I’ve put together another three minutes of Tuesday TV.  Watch out for the cheese monster…😂

 

 

Posted in dementia, family, looking after Mum, memory, stroke, Tuesday, Tuesday TV | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment