So yesterday I told you about my holiday.  Lots of people were kind enough to read my ramblings and quite a few were very lovely and chose to follow my blog as a result.  I had some comments on Facebook too…and then I realised:  I may have made myself sound quite a lot fitter and more capable than I actually was.  I thought I should set the record straight as while I loved almost every minute of my 29 hours of stuff, I was really pretty terrible at most of it.

Paddle boarding:  I managed to stand up….eventually.  But I then spent the rest of the hour with my toes curled into claws, gripping the board and promptly gave myself cramp in both calves.  It was suggested that I kneel down to give my legs a rest but I literally couldn’t move them.

Yoga on a paddle board:  Something weird happened and I did manage to move around on the board a bit.  There was a particularly un-yoga-ish moment though, when the instructor told me to move from plank to standing by ‘jumping’ my feet together to the center of the board.  I told her exactly what I thought of that and instead opted for an impersonation of a very elderly version of myself and I inched my legs very, very slowly into the required position…  In fact most of my yoga / wobbling was done in slow motion.

Body Sculpt:  I sweated so much I should have looked like a sultana by the time I finished.  Seriously, there was a puddle of water around me.  It also took four days to be able to stretch my calves without squeaking.

Cycling:  I thought I’d be ok at this – I used to cycle a lot.  Just not up mountains in heatwaves.  And it turns out I also forgot which way to move the gears.  One of the lovely ladies had to come back and rescue me when they realised I was missing.  I couldn’t get the chain into the right place on the big wheely thing.  I even took the chain off to move it manually (covering a fair percentage of me in grease and oil) but it slipped back.  Because – as the lovely lady pointed out –  I had the lever in the wrong place and was attempting to scale a mountain in the hardest gear.  I never recovered and the rest of the group had to wait for me at each turn off…

So I hope I’ve removed any thoughts that I came back from this holiday coordinated and fitter.

There were three things I did excel at though:

1. Befriending the local wildlife:

2) Having toenail issues.  I felt my toenails were too naked compared to all the pretty ones around me so I went and bought some nail varnish, forgetting the fact that this is always a disaster.  Ten minutes later I dropped a sunbed on my toe, one class involving trainers later the varnish had melted and attracted large quantities of sock fluff.  (I apologise for this photo is, like me, you also hate feet, but it has to be seen to be believed.)

3) Sweating.  Look at my hair.  The poor person who had that helmet after me…

There are some things I am good at.  Just not the things I may have implied last night.  But I hope that is ok with you :o)