This time last year I was sitting here feeling sick, wondering if I should hit the ‘publish’ button. I was about to tell the world (ok, not the world, but a heap of friends and quite a few people I don’t know) that I had trichotillomania (a compulsion to pull out my hair), had got to the end of my tether, had shaved off what hair I had left and bought a wig. Called Bradley, obviously.
My new years resolution was to stop. Sounds simple, but I’d not managed more than a few months of stopping before, so a whole year…and the possibility of having a full head of hair at the end of it seemed ridiculously hopeful.
I looked like this:
Then I looked like this:
Then, with Bradley, like this:
And now? Now I look like this:
YES! I have done a whole year without pulling one single hair from my head! And there is absolutely no way I could have done it without my brilliant family, colleagues, friends and all of you. I’ve had calls, e-mails, cards, hugs and they have meant so much. I’ve also had quite a few people, some who I know and others who I don’t, tell me that they have done or do the same. Or their friend / brother /daughter does or did. Thank you to every single one of you for your support and for reminding me that I wasn’t the only one with this particular weirdness.
It’s been one of the more difficult things I have done. I still have the urge to remove ‘naughty’ hairs, or get rid of the very physical itch on my scalp by pulling, but a combination of crochet, smoking (cigarettes. Sorry, but it has helped) and giving myself a good talking to has worked so far. I am very lucky that apart from two thinner patches, my hair has all seen fit to return. Not so lucky that the patches where I attacked it most have decided to return grey and upside down (the hair actually grows the wrong way.) To stop myself looking like a crazed badger I now have dyed hair, courtesy of Sister 2, and a decent pair of straighteners that I cannot leave the house without using.
I’ve learned a few things too:
- I have a plus sized head. I know this as apparently I was the only one to ever call the wig shop up to ask how to stretch a wig.
- There are times it’s best not to whip off a wig. Tesco and pubs are two I can think of off the top of my head.
- It’s possible to put a wig on sideways and have a conversation with a bemused postman without realising.
- If you don’t think about it too much, you can be really brave. This time last year I would never have imagined I’d have gone on a date wearing a wig. Disastrous it might have been, but that wasn’t the wig’s fault.
- On the first day of not wearing a wig, it is a good idea not to use your work laptop to post a picture of proof to your friends on facebook. Especially if you will then be using that laptop to share your desktop later with around 3,000 people.
- Sometimes it’s better to talk (write?) than to hide something tricky to deal with.
I have fantabulous friends, colleagues and family who (with only one exception) have supported me every single step of the last year. Thank you. I hope I have done you proud.
Happy New Year, lovely people. Make that resolution that you’re not sure you can achieve. I did it last year, and it turns out sometimes you can achieve more than you thought.
Now I just have to think of a challenge for 2014 :o)
the pog blog 
HUGE congratulations, girl! You’ve been utterly fabulous this year and I’m just so delighted you’ve managed it all. Also love the current short hairdo, I have to say 😃 I won’t be around much in January in the office, but we have to have that lunch. I’ll ping some dates.
Happy New Year and here’s to a fantastic 2014! Lxxx
Thank you Lynn – for your words and the fact that you never batted an eyelid in the office when you would have been perfectly entitled to! I’m looking forward to the lunch…and also to more photos from you now you have escaped! Happy New Year to you too :o) xxx
so proud of you <333333
Thank you :o) x
you’re welcome. Yes, my last post ‘deflated’ was actually dedicated to you. Because I had read your post, seen the pictures. I was left speechless, my heart sobbed out of happiness for you and sadness for me. I don’t talk about it on my blog.. or anywhere online.. so if I do, I try to be subtle. and yes.., that was for you :) you’re an inspiration. Thank you for making it seem possible <3
I’m touched – I don’t think anyone wrote anything with me in mind before! Thank you. x
:)
Amazing stuff Helen! Here’s to a wonderful 2014. X
Thank you, lovely. And a happy 2014 to you. x
Well done Pog, you have done amazingly well. A real achievement. Now if you can just think of a plan to help me stop biting my nails….at 37 you would thought I would have stopped by now and it has been my new years resolution for as long as I can remember! Lovely to see you just before Christmas, the girls have worn their owl hats every day I think and Dan and Dave and I have enjoyed warm heads too! Thanks my lovely friend. Keep in touch via facebook xx
Thank you :o It was lovely to see you all and I am pleased that the hats have kept you warm. As for your nails….maybe I could crochet you a set of mini Bradleys? ;o) xx
Oh my GOD! I literally SCREAMED with joy when I saw your picture with your real, full head of hair. BEAUTIFUL! You are SUCH an inspiration to me as I type these words with teary eyes! Trich has dominated my life for so long: bald eyelids and bald patches. YOU inspire me! Congrats love!
God Bless!
That means so much – thank you! If I can do it after 23 years I think anyone probably can. I guess it needs to be the right time for you….but that time will come. Look after yourself – bald patches and all :o) x
Hi Pog. What can we add, except that knowing how much effort and determination you needed to keep your promise makes us even more proud. The latest style gives Bradley a run for its money, and the scarf sets it off a treat!!!! Well done and please keep it up.
P.S (and jumping a blog) didn’t the dragon turn out well.
Thank you. I think the struggle has been worth it :o) And thank you for the best thank you card ever – it made me laugh so much!
And yes – the dragon wasn’t looking too well when you saw him was he?!
I’m a bit late to the party. Congratulations and thanks for continuing to be an inspiration. I love the hair and the color and the pure confidence that is shining through from the inside out!
Never too late, Rhonda! Thank you – but thank you especially for the mail you sent on my blackberry in the team telepresence when I accidentally revealed my bald head. I wont forget your loveliness that day :o) x
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