You may have realised by now that I don’t always think thinks through.
Like this Sunday when I walked into my bedroom and did a high pitched squeal as I discovered a dead body part way under my bed. If I’d thought it through I’d have realised what I was looking at were my boots – the ones that had fallen over sideways at the end of my bed as I discarded them a whole five minutes earlier. Not too bad though – Norman was the only witness.
Slightly worse was the experience in a supermarket car park recently when I walked back to my car and noticed a lot of paint had flaked off that bit under the passenger door. I waved at the lady about to park in the space next to mine in a ‘could you hold on just a minute? way, as I bent down to inspect it. ‘How could this happen? The car is only three months old. Had I done something wrong to it? I’d have to take it to the garage. RIGHT NOW. And tell them what I thought of their shoddy paintwork.’ I it was shaking a bit (I tend to do panic really well), but more so when I noticed the dent in the door. When had that happened? How had I not noticed? And so the questions went on…
I realised that the trying-to-park lady was looking a bit impatient so I waved in an apologetic way (isn’t it amazing how many types of waves there are?) and walked round to the driver side, still shaking. I assumed that was why I couldn’t fit the key in the lock. It took a while to realise that actually, the reason was that the car might be small and red, but it wasn’t actually mine. My small and red car was a few spaces away… I kept my eyes averted from the now very confused looking lady as I walked away and got in my car. It seems that there aren’t that many types of waves.
But actually, I saw someone do something even dafter last week. I was waiting for a tube when I heard the London Underground man shout:
‘Madam, Madam! WHAT are you doing?’
‘Well you haven’t got a lift.’
As he ran towards her I heard ‘But that is NEVER going to work…’
What had she been doing? Well, as she’d not spied the lift, or apparently the ‘up’ escalator all of 10 feet to her right, this lady was attempting to get up a ‘down’ escalator. With a buggy. With a child in it…
Now even I would think that one through. I hope :o)