Finally the Magical Mystical shorts turned up on Friday (they ‘got lost’ the first time and had to be resent.) They came with a manual(!) which stated that they ‘work hard to reduce your body fat and the visible appearance of cellulite. Lose 2 Jean sizes in 2 weeks’.
I couldn’t wait to get started and there was almost a spring in my step when I got out of bed on Saturday morning. (Almost…I had been led astray on Friday night and had pub crawled the weirdest selection of pubs in the village next to Bumpkinsville. As a result I was not quite ‘as fresh as a daisy’. More a case of ‘a donkey pooed in my head while I was asleep’). Anyway, I pulled on the Magical Mystical shorts and any spring that was almost there was squashed. It was like pulling on half a wetsuit, full of sand. I walked like a cowboy to retrieve my bike from the shed and started my 10 miles. Cycling in the equivalent of a sand filled wet suit is slow. Cycling in the equivalent of a sand filled wetsuit that supposedly achieves its aim by ‘increasing your perspiration by up to 80%’ with a hangover is hideous. I swear it was only a matter of minutes before I was directly sweating the white wine spritzers and vodka of the night before. I could smell the alcohol. It was not good.
So it was hot, sweaty, and hard work. This morning I thought I’d repeat the process, just without the hangover. I even pumped up the bikes tyres and oiled the chain in the hope that would make things a little smoother. It didn’t (Although I wasn’t quite so dehydrated when I got home today).
I’m not giving up though – I’ll keep wearing them, keep taking my measurements and keep you informed. And if they’ve not kept their promise, I’ll be writing a strongly worded letter to the company in a fortnight :o)