I’ve had two telephone calls recently where I learned a few tips.  I thought you might like to see if they would help you (possibly not, if you’re already a sensible grown up sort of a person).

Tip 1:  Be sure who you’re talking to.

I needed to go to The White Company, but some genius moved the shop.  I wasn’t entirely sure where it had moved to, so I looked up the number on line, dialled and things went like this:

Me: Hi, I need to find you.  I’m leaving my office now.  Could you tell me exactly where you are?

Lady: Sorry?

Me: I’m trying to find you.  Where  are you?

Lady: Um.  I’m sorry…

Me:  This is The White Company isn’t it?

Lady: No.  This is a residential address.

Oops!!

Tip 2:  Sometimes the person you’re talking to thinks things through even less than you.

A bank statement hadn’t turned up in the post and I needed to check something on it. (And I don’t have internet banking).  I called the very helpful people in India – that’s not me making a point, I know they are in India as they often tell me how warm they are over  there and ask how cold it currently is in the UK…

Me: My statement didn’t arrive last month; could you send me a copy please?

Man: It did arrive.

Me:  No, it definitely didn’t.

Man:  It wasn’t returned to us so it definitely arrived.

Me:  Trust me, just because it wasn’t returned to you doesn’t mean it arrived at my house.  Could you send me a copy please?

Man:  Certainly Madam.  We will debit your account £5 for this.

Me:  I’m really not happy about paying £5 for something I should have already received.

Man: I am sorry Madam, that is the only option.

Me:  Ok, I won’t do that then.

Man: Anything else you want, I can help with though.

Me:  Can you see my statement on your screen?

Man: Yes Madam.

Me: Please can you read it, line by line to me so I can write it down?

Man: Could you hold on one minute please?

Me: Yes, no problem.

Man: On this occasion Madam, we would be happy to send you a replacement statement free of charge.

Me:  Lovely.  Thank you very much.

:o)