Can I ask for your help, you lovely people? I know that’s not how my blog works usually, but hey, a change is as good as a rest and all that.
I would love to hear your views – either in the comments section below or on Facebook – on an e-mail exchange between me and the Introduction Agency I joined. I’m pretty sure that I wont be receiving any more introductions or getting my money back (it will all become clear if you read further) but …well, I’ll just stop waffling and let you read. Sorry, it’s rather long, but it’s not often you get to read someone else’s e-mails is it? ;o)
Last month I told you how I was having a proactive few moments. At that point I’d sent this mail:
‘Thank you for sending through XXX’s profile – you’d actually sent it to me last year too.
I’ve spoken to a few people about the two dates I have had with you so far and they have expressed surprise that I’ve been matched with those I have. I’d be the first person to agree that you don’t have to have a large number of things in common with a partner, but I do believe you have to have some similarities – in outlook or beliefs – or there is absolutely no common ground to build on. YYY was someone who I would actively avoid if I had met in any other social setting – and that is irrespective of his views on smoking. As I said to you after each date, I’d be happy to give you some feedback on both if that helps with future matching.
Based on this, my friends suggested that I ask you why you have matched me with XXX? It is very hard to tell much about him from his profile (who doesn’t like having dinner with friends or going abroad?) and I don’t want to waste his time, or mine. I’d also like to avoid a repeat of the last date. It was funny once, I think if another date was that bad though, I’d probably not see the funny side (and may consider joining the nearest convent!)’
I tried to make contact every week after that, just saying ‘can you get back to me?’, then I got a bit fed up and yesterday I sent this:
‘I have now been trying to contact you for a month:
- 8th March – e-mail below
- 15th March – e-mail below
- 22nd March – phone call
- 2nd April – phone call
- 3rd April – phone call
I am disappointed that I have not heard back from you on any occasion as I only wanted was find out why you had suggested your most recent match (4th March) and provide some feedback on the two dates I have had (as I offered after each) to help with future matches. I understood that you encouraged both these activities as, ultimately, it would help you increase your success and reduce the likelihood of me having another, slightly distressing date.
I would appreciate understanding what issue has resulted in this scenario where I cannot contact you. If for some reason you no longer want me on your books, please explain why and refund me the money owing. As I paid £XXX for 6 introductions the refund would be £XXX.
If there is any other reason that you have not been able to return my mails or calls, let me know and we can start again from my initial e-mail below.
I joined your agency due to the personal service that you offer and the fact that you are a new local business that I wanted to support and promote to my friends. Sadly my experience of the personal service is not a positive one at the moment.
Please contact me within the next 5 working days either with a refund and explanation, or to respond to my mail of the 8th.’
Exactly one hour and 18 minutes later I received this mail:
‘I was so surprised by your email after the proposed introduction that I needed to assess the situation.
I need to remind you that terms state you will not show profiles to other people for confidentiality – which you have broken.
The extremely reduced rate you joined at was at your suggestion in return for blogs – we received one.
XXXX, the match proposed, is an excellent guy and yet you were very dismissive.
There is no refund due and I will have to give thought to whether we will be able to provide more intros considering your negative attitude.
We will be in touch in due course.’
Slightly stunned, I responded with:
‘I need to remind you that terms state you will not show profiles to other people for confidentiality – which you have broken. I’m sorry, I think you have misunderstood what I said. I have talked about my dates to people which is why it was then suggested I understand better from you how you made further matches in general – hence my mail. I have not shown anyone any of the profiles.
The extremely reduced rate you joined at was at your suggestion in return for blogs – we received one. (See your email of 9th Dec: ‘how about £XXX membership and when I have the page on the website, you could give me a testimonial please? I will want to add a blog to website too in the new year so maybe then you can give me some pointers?’) This was the only thing you actually asked for from me. Yes, I did also offer to blog on each of the dates in addition, which I did for my first one. I am happy to do so on the second date but as it was such a negative experience I assumed that you would not want one on that. You never asked for any on additional topics either when we originally come to the agreement or since.
XXXXX, the match proposed, is an excellent guy and yet you were very dismissive. I am sure he is lovely. But based in my recent experience I wanted to understand more about why he was a good match for me. I was not being dismissive of his profile or even of meeting him – just asking questions to protect myself which I don’t think is unreasonable.
There is no refund due. I assume that you will refund me if you decide to offer no further introductions as clearly nobody would ever be expected to pay for a service that wasn’t provided.
and I will have to give thought to whether we will be able to provide more intros considering your negative attitude. I actually find this hurtful. I had a bad experience as a result of one of your introductions but made light of it as I realise that you wont get it right every time. I did, however, want to ensure that the same thing did not happen again so I asked questions and offered to provide more information to you so that matches stood a better chance of working. I don’t see that as negative – I see it as sensible.
I have to say, I am upset by your mail below.’
And then…nothing. I guess as the first reply took a month I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve been called a lot of things (with justification) – Drama Queen, Worry Wart, paranoid…but negative? And effectively un-dateable as a result?
So over to you. What do you think about it? I’d really like to know :o)