What do you think?

Can I ask for your help, you lovely people?  I know that’s not how my blog works usually, but hey, a change is as good as a rest and all that.

I would love to hear your views – either in the comments section below or on Facebook – on an e-mail exchange between me and the Introduction Agency I joined.  I’m pretty sure that I wont be receiving any more introductions or  getting my money back (it will all become clear if you read further) but …well, I’ll just stop waffling and let you read.  Sorry, it’s rather long, but it’s not often you get to read someone else’s  e-mails is it? ;o)

Last month I told you how I was having a proactive few moments.  At that point I’d sent this mail:

‘Thank you for sending through XXX’s profile – you’d actually sent it to me last year too.

I’ve spoken to a few people about the two dates I have had with you so far and they have expressed surprise that I’ve been matched with those I have.  I’d be the first person to agree that you don’t have to have a large number of things in common with a partner, but I do believe you have to have some similarities – in outlook or beliefs – or there is absolutely no common ground to build on.  YYY was someone who I would actively avoid if I had met in any other social setting – and that is irrespective of his views on smoking.  As I said to you after each date, I’d be happy to give you some feedback on both if that helps with future matching.

Based on this, my friends suggested that I ask you why you have matched me with XXX?  It is very hard to tell much about him from his profile (who doesn’t like having dinner with friends or going abroad?) and  I don’t want to waste his time, or mine.  I’d also like to avoid a repeat of the last date.  It was funny once, I think if another date was that bad though, I’d probably not see the funny side (and may consider joining the nearest convent!)’

I tried to make contact every week after that, just saying ‘can you get back to me?’, then I got a bit fed up and yesterday I sent this:

‘I have now been trying to contact you for a month:

  • 8th March – e-mail below
  • 15th March – e-mail below
  • 22nd March – phone call
  • 2nd April – phone call
  • 3rd April – phone call

I am disappointed that I have not heard back from you on any occasion as I only wanted was find out why you had suggested your most recent match (4th March) and provide some feedback on the two dates I have had (as I offered after each) to help with future matches.  I understood that you encouraged both these activities as, ultimately, it would help you increase your success and reduce the likelihood of me having another, slightly distressing date.

I would appreciate understanding what issue has resulted in this scenario where I cannot contact you.  If for some reason you no longer want me on your books, please explain why and refund me the money owing.  As I paid £XXX for 6 introductions the refund would be £XXX.

If there is any other reason that you have not been able to return my mails or calls, let me know and we can start again from my initial e-mail below.

I joined your agency due to the personal service that you offer and the fact that you are a new local business that I wanted to support and promote to my friends.  Sadly my experience of the personal service is not a positive one at the moment.

Please contact me within the next 5 working days either with a refund and explanation, or to respond to my mail of the 8th.’

Exactly one hour and 18 minutes later I received this mail:

‘I was so surprised by your email after the proposed introduction that I needed to assess the situation.

I need to remind you that terms state you will not show profiles to other people for confidentiality – which you have broken.

The extremely reduced rate you joined at was at your suggestion in return for blogs – we received one.

XXXX, the match proposed, is an excellent guy and yet you were very dismissive.

There is no refund due and I will have to give thought to whether we will be able to provide more intros considering your negative attitude.

We will be in touch in due course.’

Slightly stunned, I responded with:

I need to remind you that terms state you will not show profiles to other people for confidentiality – which you have broken.  I’m sorry, I think you have misunderstood what I said.  I have talked about my dates to people which is why it was then suggested I understand better from you how you made further matches in general – hence my mail.  I have not shown anyone any of the profiles.

The extremely reduced rate you joined at was at your suggestion in return for blogs – we received one. (See your email of 9th Dec: ‘how about £XXX membership and when I have the page on the website, you could give me a testimonial please?  I will want to add a blog to website too in the new year so maybe then you can give me some pointers?’)  This was the only thing you actually asked for from me.  Yes, I did also offer to blog on each of the dates in addition, which I did for my first one.  I am happy to do so on the second date but as it was such a negative experience I assumed that you would not want one on that.  You never asked for any on additional topics either when we originally come to the agreement or since.

XXXXX, the match proposed, is an excellent guy and yet you were very dismissive.  I am sure he is lovely.  But based in my recent experience I wanted to understand more about why he was a good match for me.  I was not being dismissive of his profile or even of meeting him – just asking questions to protect myself which I don’t think is unreasonable.

There is no refund due. I assume that you will refund me if you decide to offer no further introductions as clearly nobody would ever be expected to pay for a service that wasn’t provided.

and I will have to give thought to whether we will be able to provide more intros considering your negative attitude. I actually find this hurtful.  I had a bad experience as a result of one of your introductions but made light of it as I realise that you wont get it right every time.  I did, however, want to ensure that the same thing did not happen again so I asked questions and offered to provide more information to you so that matches stood a better chance of working.  I don’t see that as negative – I see it as sensible.

I have to say, I am upset by your mail below.’

And then…nothing.  I guess as the first reply took a month I shouldn’t be surprised.  I’ve been called a lot of things (with justification) – Drama Queen, Worry Wart, paranoid…but negative?  And effectively un-dateable as a result?

So over to you.  What do you think about it?  I’d really like to know :o)

A smile from this weekend :o)

A smile from this weekend :o)

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13 Responses to What do you think?

  1. I don’t know the whole background story, and right now I think you are (understandably) upset. Your emails seemed gracious and to the point, and the woman’s response cold. My first instinct is that sometimes these things have to be let go, even if you lose money, you need to assess whether the cost of the fight is worth it. But another thought is that the woman who responded is hoping you will go away. Does this person have a superior? Can you go in person to an office? Can you find out on line if others have had the same problem? Is there a better business bureau that has several complaints? Can you go to the media, or tell them you will go to the media with your story? Can you get some free legal advice anywhere? I am unclear about the blog connection by the way…Those are my initial thoughts.

    • thepogblog says:

      Thank you for your thoughts – it’s very kind of you. The blog connection was that the agency has a blog and I offered to write up the dates I had to go on that (I did the first one – the second was more than a little disastrous so I didn’t) but actually, she had only asked for a testimonial so the blog posts were in addition to our original agreement. The lady who wrote the email owns the company and it is only made up of her and one other person, and as it is relatively new there are no online reviews. I think you are right about picking your battles. To be honest, I think in posting this I was just looking for reassurance that I’m not the bonkers one! You and friends who have responded via other means have given me that, so thank you :o)

  2. stephanie says:

    Hiya,

    I strongly back you up and believe they are acting unreasonably especially after your polite e mails requesting their guidance. I cannot see what you have done wrong and would suggest that they re the agreements by which they operate as they clearly have no idea. The mere content of their mail to you suggests that they have no customer relations what so ever. I am also under the impression that you will not see a refund as they cannot see what they have done wrong, therefore I am sad to say that you may have to sue them for it.

    • thepogblog says:

      Thank you! I’ll give a polite e-mail a go, then I think I’ll have to kiss the money goodbye (it’s not enough to warrant a fight), but thank you very much for your support – it’s lovely to hear :o)

  3. My pleasure. If she is the owner, then her response is even worse. You were absolutely not being negative. She does not know how to handle clients, so I am sure she has no clue about how to match people. If you can let it go (money-wise) it might be good, but otherwise I say write a review somewhere on line for future Google searches to find…

  4. KatieB says:

    My humble opinion – I think the tone and content of the email you received was wholly unprofessional. And that probably tells you everything you need to know of that company, its attitude to service and its employees. I don’t think you were in any way unreasonable or rude, and as such I think their response displays a distinct lack of experience in customer service. So now you have a choice. 1. Try and reason with someone who is clearly not mature enough to respond as you deserve. Only you know if that’s worth the effort. 2. Write this off as experience and secretly seethe for a while until you forget about it. 3. Get advice on your rights with regards to a refund and take it as far as you are willing.

    It’s the cost vs care factor. But you have been treated badly and I would certainly write honest reviews wherever you can to alert others to the experience you’ve had.

    • thepogblog says:

      Great advice…thank you :o) I think I will try one last mail (including some of the comments here and on facebook) but ultimately go for option 2. Writing the blog helped a lot with the seething part! Lots of people have suggested an online review too so if nothing comes of the email I will be doing that. Thank you so much for your thoughts KatieB :o)

  5. Shirley and John says:

    Hi Pog
    Not an expert, but anyone capable of responding like your ‘purveyor of love’, is quite clearly out of her depth. However, anyone who can put together a blog full of human kindness, together with bucket loads of humour like you do, is probably much better off without her help!!! Don’t back off without a rebate (she owes you that, if not an apology) but put her inadequacies down to experience and move to a better place.
    S and J

  6. yellowcallalilies says:

    Yikes!

  7. Pingback: Karma – redressing the balance | the pog blog

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