no power, no broadband, no light, no tea…

I wrote this last night to entertain myself (and give myself a little light from the screen of the laptop) but couldn’t post it for reasons that will become clear:


Today I was happily sitting here, working from home and my internet connection stopped working.  With my technical expertise (that’s a bit of a joke if you don’t know me well), I deduced that the router was not doing what it set out in life to do and called BT.  Last time I called them the lady was brilliant.  This time I got connected, explained the problem and well, this is what happened:

  • I’ll just check your connection.  That’s fine.  And what router is it? (yawn)
  • (I read out the router details)
  • Has the power light stayed on all the time?
  • Yes, apart from when I unplugged it all and then restarted.
  • Hmm (yawn).  I just have to speak to my colleague….Thank you for holding. Have you reset the router?
  • Well, I turned it off and on again if that’s what you mean.  I’ve also disconnected and reconnected all the leads.
  • No, (yawn) have you pressed the reset button in the back?
  • No.
  • Could you do that now please? (yawn)
  • Erm, there is no button, just a tiny hole.
  • You need to stick a pin in it.
  • OK (I find a suitable pin, disconnect the router from the power and stick the pin in the hole). 
  • Are the lights changing? (yawn)
  • No, the lights are off.  I turned the power off before I stuck a metal pin in the back of the router.
  • That wont work (yawn).  Turn the power on and try again
  • Ok.  If it all goes quiet when I am electrocuted you have my address there to call the ambulance.
  • (yawn)
  • I’m sorry, am I boring you?
  • (yawn), Oh, I just started work and it was a heavy weekend. (It’s 11.30am on a Tuesday at this point)
  • OK, that made no difference.  The lights are as they were when I called you.
  • I just have to speak to my colleague….Thank you for holding.  Your router is broken.
  • Really?  There is definitely nothing wrong with the line?
  • I just have to speak to my colleague….Thank you for holding.  No, your router is broken.
  • Ok, so what happens now?
  • We’ll send you a new one tomorrow.
  • I’ll be at the office in London tomorrow.  Could you put a note asking the courier to leave it with a neighbour?
  • No, (yawn) we can’t do that. 
  • OK, I’ll leave a note here for then to leave it with a neighbour. 
  • No, they won’t do that.  We can send it to your office.
  • I don’t know the address by heart,,,and I can’t look it up as I have no internet connection….

Anyway, eventually it was (sort of) sorted).  My boss suggested I take half a days leave and the router (in theory) will be delivered to the office in the morning.  I got on with some bits and pieces feeling slightly grumpy that I couldn’t make better use of a half days leave but then…things got worse!

Pog blogging power cut style...

At 4.30pm Bumpkinsville had our 4th power cut in 24 hours – just the time when I was about to make a cup of tea (which, two hours later I am gasping for!).  Outside the windows it is pitch black and it’s eerily quiet.  Inside I’ve lit all my candles and, having survived sticking a pin in the back of a router connected to the mains, I am now in danger of suffocation due to the overpowering smells of nine different scented candles! 

I think tonight might be the earliest night I’ve had in years.  


I didn’t go to bed.  Assuming the router that gets delivered today sorts out the broadband issues, I’ll tell you about that later on….

PS:  On an entirely different subject, It’s two YEARS today that I gave up smoking…woo hoo!  :o)

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