I wrote this last night to entertain myself (and give myself a little light from the screen of the laptop) but couldn’t post it for reasons that will become clear:
Today I was happily sitting here, working from home and my internet connection stopped working. With my technical expertise (that’s a bit of a joke if you don’t know me well), I deduced that the router was not doing what it set out in life to do and called BT. Last time I called them the lady was brilliant. This time I got connected, explained the problem and well, this is what happened:
- I’ll just check your connection. That’s fine. And what router is it? (yawn)
- (I read out the router details)
- Has the power light stayed on all the time?
- Yes, apart from when I unplugged it all and then restarted.
- Hmm (yawn). I just have to speak to my colleague….Thank you for holding. Have you reset the router?
- Well, I turned it off and on again if that’s what you mean. I’ve also disconnected and reconnected all the leads.
- No, (yawn) have you pressed the reset button in the back?
- Could you do that now please? (yawn)
- Erm, there is no button, just a tiny hole.
- You need to stick a pin in it.
- OK (I find a suitable pin, disconnect the router from the power and stick the pin in the hole).
- Are the lights changing? (yawn)
- No, the lights are off. I turned the power off before I stuck a metal pin in the back of the router.
- That wont work (yawn). Turn the power on and try again
- Ok. If it all goes quiet when I am electrocuted you have my address there to call the ambulance.
- I’m sorry, am I boring you?
- (yawn), Oh, I just started work and it was a heavy weekend. (It’s 11.30am on a Tuesday at this point)
- OK, that made no difference. The lights are as they were when I called you.
- I just have to speak to my colleague….Thank you for holding. Your router is broken.
- Really? There is definitely nothing wrong with the line?
- I just have to speak to my colleague….Thank you for holding. No, your router is broken.
- Ok, so what happens now?
- We’ll send you a new one tomorrow.
- I’ll be at the office in London tomorrow. Could you put a note asking the courier to leave it with a neighbour?
- No, (yawn) we can’t do that.
- OK, I’ll leave a note here for then to leave it with a neighbour.
- No, they won’t do that. We can send it to your office.
- I don’t know the address by heart,,,and I can’t look it up as I have no internet connection….
Anyway, eventually it was (sort of) sorted). My boss suggested I take half a days leave and the router (in theory) will be delivered to the office in the morning. I got on with some bits and pieces feeling slightly grumpy that I couldn’t make better use of a half days leave but then…things got worse!
At 4.30pm Bumpkinsville had our 4th power cut in 24 hours – just the time when I was about to make a cup of tea (which, two hours later I am gasping for!). Outside the windows it is pitch black and it’s eerily quiet. Inside I’ve lit all my candles and, having survived sticking a pin in the back of a router connected to the mains, I am now in danger of suffocation due to the overpowering smells of nine different scented candles!
I think tonight might be the earliest night I’ve had in years.
I didn’t go to bed. Assuming the router that gets delivered today sorts out the broadband issues, I’ll tell you about that later on….
PS: On an entirely different subject, It’s two YEARS today that I gave up smoking…woo hoo! :o)