Last night I had some friends over for dinner.  I say ‘over for dinner’ but actually, to reduce the panicking on my part, we just had fish and chips from the place down the road.  (I know, I’m a complete cheat).  It’s just as well though.  It seems that just preparing for people coming over is more than this Pog can manage effectively.

I took the opportunity to clean REALLY well (note to self: cleaning windows for the benefit of guests who will arrive after dark is somewhat pointless).  I even shined the cutlery – yes, it may have been fish and chips but I felt I should make some effort.  I tidied the clutter in the secret shelf under my table and then made a batch of cookie fairy cookies (of course, after I’d cleaned the kitchen which then had to be done again). Then it started.  First I thought it was one set of neighbours hoovering their car making the noise but neither they nor their car were outside.  So I assumed it must be the other neighbour drilling.  It went on and on and I was not feeling very festive about it. 

But then I realised that actually it was coming from right between both neighbours.  And that would mean it was in my house.  I walked around with my head at a funny angle trying to pin point it.  I even went up into the loft.  I was baffled.  Then I thought to check the secret shelf under the table. And found this:

It’s a small hand help fan shaped like a penguin. obviously.

Somehow in my de cluttering the fan (in its box) had turned itself on.  I have no idea how but I think it may have been trying to alert me to the next slightly chaotic moment.  Which I realised about 45 minutes before my fish and chip guests arrived.  I went to lay the table, reached for the table mats that have been stored on the secret shelf for 5 years and…not there.  They also turned out not to be anywhere else in the house (and this includes my chest of drawers and under my bed).  Balancing plates on coasters seemed a bit daft and I don’t have a table cloth so I decided to improvise.  This is my home made table cloth devised from scraps in my sewing bag:

Happily, the penguin fan stayed quiet throughout the fish and chips and with some subtle lighting the improvised table cloth didn’t look too bad.

So, tips from me should you have some lovely people over for fish and chips:

• Don’t worry about cleaning windows if guest are arriving after dark
• Check the location of all penguin fans
• Check that you have table mats available (or at least sufficient scraps of material to create an alternative)
• And enjoy the fact that you don’t have to keep checking the oven or worry about giving your friends food poisoning. 

:o)