The Proportions of Pants

When I cycle I try to think through work (what should go in that presentation, how to write a specific e-mail), solve world issues (I’m pretty sure in the 80s mum was given some cake mixture that ‘grew’ so from the one cup of mixture we had a never ending supply of cakes.  I’m sure that would help out in the world hunger problem) or finish an argument (the bonus being that I always come out on top this way).

Today though, my mind wandered further.  To pants.  Specifically, the proportions of pants.

When I was little, big pants were called apple catchers.   Apple catchers were the biggest pants ever and something to be sniggered about.  Until I saw how big Nanny’s knickers were. They were enormous!  No knickers matched their magnitude, but as I grew up I realised that the proportions of pants were incredibly important.

Miss Fancy Pants and her friend...erm....Miss Fancy Pants.

Miss Fancy Pants of course, has her own tiny pants.  When I showed them to Geeky friends little boy, he almost collapsed laughing.  It’s been a long time since pants were funny but his hilarity got me giggling too. :o)

Years back I was a holiday rep in theCanary Islands. We had an airport run twice a week (happily I didn’t have to do this, unhappily it was because I ran the children’s clubs and had to stay in the resort at all times).  The girls who did the airport run though developed a dependence on their ‘airport pants’.  Airport pants were one size up from ‘big’ and, I can only assume were sufficiently comfy for spending a day at the airport.

In a similar vein to airport pants, I have weekend pants.  These are comfy, large, not to be seen by anyone but also, great.  They are best when it comes to cycling as they don’t move, they are that big (still not as big as Nanny’s though!).  At Tesco the other day I spied some reduced weekend pants…a bargain they were at £1.75 for four pairs.  Unfortunately, it turns out that ‘full briefs’ are not weekend pants.  They are Nanny knickers.  They go up to my tummy button!  And they are great…although I only wear them when I cycle – any other time and I could be accused of being in my 70’s after all and I may be a bit of an old spinster but I’m not that bad….not quite :o)

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4 Responses to The Proportions of Pants

  1. Richard Shanahan says:

    After reading that I just had all these visions of you appearing as Bridget Jones when Hugh Grant finds out what she is wearing under her dress. Lol

  2. Ems says:

    I remember that cake mixture!!

talk to me here , if you fancy :o)

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