On Saturday I shut my head in my car door. I don’t mean that the door closed on it gently, – I mean I somehow managed to confuse ‘being in the car’ with ‘getting in the car’ and slammed it shut. With my head right in the way. It hurt quite a bit, although all I have to show for it is a slightly ouchy egg on one side and slightly dented pride at the time (of course, in a teeny tiny village, someone just happened to be walking past).
Anyhow, the good news is that I think rather than losing some brain cells, I actually gained them.
Saturday night was date three with Lovely Man. I don’t know quite how it happened – it was supposed to be just us going out, but in the end it was him, me, Sister 1, Little Pea, Sister 2 and her boyfriend all standing in a field in the pouring rain watching fireworks. He and I then went for a pizza with Sister 2 and her boyfriend.
He was very brave, and his usual lovely self, but I had the sudden dawning realisation that although lovely is…well, lovely, my Sisters dogs are all lovely, but it doesn’t mean I want a relationship with them. This really wasn’t for me. Last night I wrote my first ever ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ mail (in hopefully far better words) and he wrote, as I almost expected, a lovely response.
At the same time as the lovely concept hit, I realised something else: I am really happy. Ok, work drives me bonkers a lot of the time, but everything else is pretty damn good. I have a brilliant family and some fantastic friends who I love spending time with. I have hobbies coming out my ears (I’ve actually been trying to work out if a double fit ball class would actually kill me, as one hour a week is just not enough) and so many plans in my head of the things I want to do I could keep busy every waking hour, even if I didn’t have to earn pennies to pay the mortgage. Right now, I don’t really have the time or the inclination to do this dating lark, so for now, I am just going to get on with being me. That in itself can sometimes be a bit of an effort!
That said, I’m not ruling out another first date or two – just not today :o)