I love living in Bumpkinsville. The only problem is that in such a small place, there aren’t that many other people around who I actually know, and without a child or a dog and with a full time job, it’s quite difficult to meet people. As a result, I was hugely excited when a friend of mine moved to the outskirts of the next village. She’s less than 5 miles away – practically a neighbour!
This Saturday she invited me and another friend over for the evening and Sister 2 kindly offered to drive me. Then Sister 2’s car went to car heaven. But that was ok, because it was less than 5 miles! I could walk that, right?
The theory worked. It was the practice bit that went a bit pear shaped. In my head I worked out how long it would take ‘Unfit, but about 5 minutes a mile, that’s about 25 minutes…’ Now, if I’d continued that thought I would have got to ‘…on my bike’. It took just over an hour door to door.
I wrapped up warm,- it was cold out. One thermal vest, one long sleeved top, a jumper, coat, scarf, hat and gloves. I left home looking ok (under the Michelin man costume). I arrived having sweated off my make up, hair on end, soaked in sweat and with my jeans rolled up to my knees (see next point).
On Friday, Bumpkinsville and a lot of the surrounding area flooded. We’re talking fire brigade to get people out of cars, entire villages shut etc. I thought 24 hours would make all the difference. It didn’t – I met with a few unexpected rivers right across the road. I thought I’d walk in the fields to avoid them. It turns out very flooded fields turn into something like quicksand when completely water logged. And no, I didn’t have wellies on.
I planned on leaving home at 4.30pm because it would still be a bit light then and I’d be there by 5pm (see original estimate) when it got pitch black. Due to chatting to Sister 2 about the joys of cars and a touch of OCD (having to go back about half a mile in as I thought I might have left my straighteners on), I finally left just before 5pm. There are no street lights at any point between mine and my friends house. But I had a torch! Which, it turned out, isn’t all that great. What it was great at though, was scaring motorists – it flashes blue and I could see cars slowing down as soon as they saw it. I think it might have looked like some sort of police thing :o) Another thing that slows motorists down is using the torch like a glow stick and dancing to your ipod as you walk. I think that scared them in a different way though…
I arrived an hour late, looking like I’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, but proud that I’d not drunk the bottle of wine in my backpack. I was handed a glass of alcohol – and it was all worth it. I wont be doing it again though, even if my Bumpkinsville friend is ‘practically a neighbour’! And our other friend drove me home, in case you were wondering. I’m not that daft! :o)