I don’t have a technical bone in my body. People look stunned if I ever mention my BSc. And think I’m lying when I tell them I started my career on not one, but two graduate technical schemes (to be fair, I agree – 12 years later I’m still waiting for HR to tell me there was a mistake and I was actually hired as a cleaner).
Because of this aversion to technology I have a DVD player but have never used it on my own (I can’t work out what buttons I need to press to get to the picture on the TV), I have no recording thingy on the tv as even the idea it gives me palpitations and I only changed my iron the other day because it was so old that every time it got to the steaming phase it tripped the switch in my fuse box.
This may explain why I’ve been managing for months with a laptop that blue screened on a daily basis and was so slow I think it was run by snails rather than the usual hamsters (hamsters was how a friend explained the inner workings of a laptop to me – it was the only way I could grasp it). I finally bit the bullet though, and had another laptop built for me that uses hamsters on speed (well, it’s a lot faster anyway). As I suspected, this did not go to plan and I had to spend a few evenings transferring documents from my old laptop to the new one and installing new software – a real technical feat for me. Happily, the only total disaster in all this was that I sat on the floor with both laptops carrying out this technical magic and must have got distracted at some point as…erm…I knelt on the old one and now have a knee shape in the rather cracked back of the screen. I’m really hoping nobody at work was hoping to use it for anyone else…
Of course, things couldn’t be that simple and the same day that I was working myself up to get that all sorted, I lost my mobile. Because it’s me, I’d not upgraded my mobile in years (people sniggered when they saw my ‘old school’ phone) and it seems things have moved on. A lot. I now have a touch screen phone that is so advanced I’m just waiting for it to cook me dinner. I spent the weekend trying to fathom out how to use all its bits and bobs and now I only have two problems. One: I can’t work out how to make a phone call and two: my fingers are waaay to fat for the touch screen meaning that a text message now takes a good few minutes and a lot of humphing to write. So the only two things that I needed the phone for, I now can’t do. Brilliant!
On the upside, I decided that as its main function is to look pretty, I needed to do something to protect it. So I made a mobile sockdom. So now I can’t see all the parts of it that I can’t use and, as I discovered this morning, I also can’t hear it ring. That’s ok though as I’ve not fathomed how to answer a call yet….one step at a time ;o)