Earlier today weird things were happening with my phone. I did what I do with all technology. I turned it off, turned it on again and…still weird things. I carried out the ‘fix’ a few more times, but no change.
So with gritted teeth I called the help line. ‘Due to an exceptionally high volume of calls’ the lady with the lovely voice informed me that ‘my call would be answered in the next 5 minutes’.
And it was.
And as a result of the call I am now stunned. Shocked to the core. They were….helpful! True, I was clearly speaking to someone in Outer Mongolia (or wherever it the ‘in’ place for call centers at the moment – no offence meant to any Outer Mongolians) rather than a local neighbour of the lovely lady, but he was SO enthusiastic in his desire to help me.
‘Could I have the first two letters of your security password please?’
He was clearly delighted that I remembered – he actually congratulated me. I felt like I should suggest an impromptu party. I managed to resist the urge and just as well…I failed the next question.
‘What handset do you have?’
I know I have a Nokia, but the four digits written on the inside of it are four digits that I have so far got through life without memorising. And as I was on the handset that needed taking apart to find the numbers, I couldn’t offer them to my friendly Outer Mongolian. It was ok. It was no problem. By magic telepathy (my records I assume) he found the detail himself. And informed me that:
‘I am doing my best to help you in all situations’
(those were the exact words…I wrote them down so I didn’t forget). Using further magic, he tested my phone. 10 seconds later he told me it was indeed, a sick phone.
Oh god…now I would have to jump through hoops to get a new phone that it would take me 3 weeks to learn to use and turn me into a stressed and grumpy thing. But no, I had not encountered a customer service representative of this ilk before.
‘We will send you a new mobile straight away’
‘I don’t want a new model though….’
‘No problem at all. I will send you the same make and model’
‘I’m only at my house tomorrow…’
‘It will arrive tomorrow then. What would your preferred delivery time be?’
‘I don’t know how to move all my contacts onto my Sim card…’
‘I’ll call you straight back on your land line and talk you through it now. I am doing my best to help you in all situations.’
I couldn’t argue with the statement. Although I did wonder if by this stage he was muttering it through gritted teeth…
30 minutes later called me back – as he said he would – to confirm that I was still happy with the solution and if I had an further questions. He finished as enthusiastically as he started.
‘I hope you are very happy with my assistance’
‘I certainly am very happy with your assistance. Thank you.’ I said.
And about 10 minutes ago, all the weirdness on my phone stopped. It seems to have fixed itself. But there is no way I am calling my Outer Mongolian friend back to tell him. It would be like bursting a small child’s balloon. And at the moment I think he is probably all puffed up and smiley that tonight he has indeed done his best to ‘help me in all situations.’