It’s been a few weeks, what with galavanting off to America, and it was a bit like Mum had a holiday too (from me!).  She was nice  🙂 . She didn’t sulk once and she did huge amounts more than usual (which actually wasn’t the best plan, but she refused point blank to use the wheel chair).

But, most excitingly, we started part 1 of The Secret Plan.  That was supposed to start before I went away but didn’t work out.  But this week, there were practically drum rolls and fanfares.

The plan is this:

• Mum needs a bit more help with day to day stuff and that is only going to increase.
• Mum needs a bit more to do (she can’t read anymore, knitting causes more problems than it solves, she can’t do puzzle books alone, Dad likes reading so the television can’t be on all the time, she can’t go out walking on her own any more).
• She doesn’t see many people because – well, I guess because it’s more effort these days and also because she has a habit of cancelling.
• Dad needs some respite…

I talked on here a while back about suggesting to Mum we find someone like me and my sisters who could take her out for coffee.  She was not even a little bit keen.  A friend read that post and said that if I were to go down the carer route, she’d tried a local agency that were not great, had been sacked and passed on the details of ‘ a group of ladies who are amazing’.

To cut a long story short, they are.  And they agreed to go under cover 😎.

So on Tuesday Mum and I went to the village shop for a coffee – possibly the first ever that she has bought me!  (Side note:  We also shared a scone.  Mum ate her half while I  sipped some coffee and then said ‘God, you ate yours fast!’, picked my half up and ate that too.  I think we may have uncovered the reason my sisters and I hoover plates of food faster than anyone else we know…)

Shortly after a lady sat down near us and I said I thought I might recognise her…would she like to sit with us?  So she did.  And we chatted. And by the time I went home on Tuesday, Mum was referring to the Undercover Carer as ‘my new friend’.  We’re going to all go for a coffee again next week.  And I am hoping that after that Mum will go for a coffee on her own with her.  And maybe sometime she will invite her back.  And hopefully she will ultimately feel comfortable enough for this lovely lady to wash her hair ….and you get the idea.

And after that we went to Tesco and Mum insisted she could walk around – and did.  And then she wanted to take Percy out and refused to go in her wheelchair.  That bit was a mistake as it took a Very Long Time to get back in the drizzle because her legs stopped working (And I mean literally.  She was at a 45 degree angle a few times when the top of her body moved forward but her legs stayed firmly where they were).  Still, my arms will probably recover at some stage from holding Mum up with one and restraining Percy with the other.  It was a good workout, at least.

I didn’t even suggest a glass of water this week, but I’m working on the basis that you have to pick your battles.  Because there was no battle, it was a good Tuesday. 🙂