It was a tricky Tuesday this week.
I don’t know what it was that annoyed Mum initially – maybe when I suggested we put on her bra that she had forgotten. Or when I told her that one sock should go on each foot – not both on the same one. Or when I struggled to get her shoes on because she had trodden down the backs with her attempt.
She was upset when I said that she was so wobbly we’d need to do Tesco with her in the wheelchair (no) or she could sit in the cafe with a coffee while I zoomed around (also no). She sat in the car and people watched instead. I thought all was good again but when we got home I asked her to drink a glass of water before she had her coffee and Tuesday cake. (It turns out Mum doesn’t like / wont eat the Jelly Drop sweets, so we’re back to trying to insist on having a glass of water every so often again). She refused. She told me in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want to drink it, didn’t need to drink it and would not drink it. I said that was fine, but she had to drink it if she wanted her donut. She went and sat on her bed and stared out the window.
I left it a while (sometimes she forgets that she is having a sulk) and went in to ask if she’d like to come out in the wheel chair with me and Percy. She said she would. I asked if she could just finish the water first and the whole thing started again.
I left it a bit longer (she’d finished the water by this time – hooray!) and asked again. She said that she wouldn’t as I told her she wasn’t allowed to come and she didn’t want to talk to me anyway. I said I would like her to come with us and so would Percy. But she said no and continued staring out the window.
So Percy and I went for a wander alone.
And then I swept the leaves from Mum and Dads drive. And made the ham and egg pie I was going to make with Mum for their tea. Dad said they enjoyed it.
It was nice to chat to Dad for a bit though – although it turns out I ask a lot of questions and answering them can be tricky for someone having breathing issues (only a 5/10 on Tuesday though, after a rather more scary 9/10 when Dad went to town last week, prompting a discussion about letting us know when he approached the ‘never been this bad before’ 10/10.).
So it was tricky. Mum can be tricky – much more with Dad than with anyone else and never with anyone outside the family. Sometimes she can be downright unkind and mean. And I’d love to gloss over the not so nice bits, but hearing that other people struggle with this has helped me, so maybe reading this will help some other Pog in some other place. And the thing about this dementia thing is that it changes frequently – for the good as well as the bad. It is just so blimin’ frustrating sometimes!
the pog blog 