Today’s Tuesday started with a trip to Tesco.  For those who have ventured here with Mum before it can be a rocky experience and few leave unscathed…

…However, it turns out giving Mum full control of the trolley and giving up all idea of finishing rapidly did – on this occasion – result in a relatively smooth expedition.

(Top tip to others in this scenario:  If your person announces they are going to get the milk and start go down entirely the wrong aisle, telling them this is a bad idea.  Telling them might result in ‘the look’ and a fair bit of tutting and small amount of sneering.  You will of course be wrong in your assertion that this is the wrong direction as of course the milk is down here.  It’s just that ‘milk’ is the new name for ‘orange juice’….)

So we did the shop in a magical mystery tour sort of way.  Mum still couldn’t remember that we were making ham and egg pie, so as promised I snorted until she remembered ‘pig’ and pretended to be a chicken, loudly laying an egg next to the eggs as promised, until mum shouted ‘goat!’ at me between laughing and we got a few stares…

We didn’t make pig and goat pie.  We made bacon and egg pie and Mum was blimin’ amazing.  Numbers didn’t exist at all for her today so weighing out was even more entertaining than last week, but she made the pastry alone, worked out how to turn on the oven and the hob and rediscovered how to crack eggs and use a pepper grinder.  We even made tarts with the left over pastry.

There were a few challenges.  Mum couldn’t work out what might be wrong with her rolling:

(That’s the pastry bottom right of the board and the cutter being rolled)

And there was the incident where I told her to put her hand in the flour so she could flour the board and got her hand stuck but couldn’t work out why it wouldn’t come out.  We ended up having to stop laughing and free her hand all very fast when gasped that she might wet herself from all the laughing… :o)

So today Mum got to push the trolley at Tesco, remembered the names of some of the things we were buying and made pie and tarts…from scratch.  And she was so proud that before we put the pie in the oven she took it to show Dad (who we had banished from the kitchen so he could have a rest and maybe so he also couldn’t interfere…)

And here’s another cool bit:

Muddle Tip:

I took a portable speaker with me and put on the same Abba songs we listened to last week as we cooked and had a good time doing it.  This time Mum remembered more songs, remembered details about them and at one point she even did some dancing.  This isn’t a coincidence:  it’s called an ‘anchor’ in the world of therapy where I spend the rest of my week.

You know that song you hear that transport you back to a specific time and place?  That’s an anchor.  You can create anchors intentionally and unintentionally and you can have positive and negative ones; at work I help clients create a positive anchor using hypnotherapy as a shortcut.

I know Mum already has an anchor to Abba’s music because I can remember her singing along, dancing in the kitchen when we played the records 30, 35 years ago (Lordy, how long?!).  By playing the same songs now, I am taking part of her mind back there where it reminds here ‘oooh, when this music plays, I’m always happy’, so she is happy in the present moment.  And by playing it when she is calm and happy in the kitchen I am adding to that positive anchor.  I’m going to do the same again next week and the week after so that soon as soon as she hears Abba playing  – whether we are cooking or not – she will be able to relax and feel happy.

(Note:  If  things get stressed or she is having a bad day, I’ll turn the music off as that will negate the positive and if extreme, could even start to create a negative anchor).

Maybe you’d like to have a go at doing the same thing?

This is something we can do for ourselves (a set of tracks to listen to when we exercise, or something to relax us), or for other people in the same way I’m doing for Mum. We know that older people who are a little confused often still make connections with music, so suddenly this thing I use so often at work has taken on a whole new significance in my life.

And it’s not just for adults – we’ve all seen small children visibly relax when something triggers their bedtime routine.  This works for all ages.

Feel free to leave any questions you might have in the comments.

Maybe because of the anchor, maybe not, today was a good Tuesday :o)