There has recently been huge excitement in Country Bumpkinsville. Our Tesco closed for a week to reopen bigger, better, stronger and longer. Or something.
I’d like to claim that I have remained unaffected by such a trivial thing as a supermarket reopening. I would like to, but I can’t. As the announcer of my ticket at a raffle on a recent night out noted rather dryly as I screeched with excitement ‘not much happens in your life then does it?’ He had a point. Although Tesco has been quite eventful for me in the past, I have actually nearly suffered ‘Death by Tesco’. Twice.
I am not one for crowded places, and that includes shopping, so it suits me just fine that Thursday nights (Tesco night) is often the one I work late or go for a drink. As a result I often get to Tesco late. Often around midnight. And it’s great because it’s empty except for shelf stackers, boxes and pallets. The pallets however, are frequently parked (do you park a pallet?) right in front of the pitta breads.
The first time this happened I prised two of them apart, got in the gap I’d created and…they pinged back together, trapping me in the middle. For some reason, despite the fact I was genuinely stuck, I got the giggles to such an extent I couldn’t even try to get out (I think I got that weak arm thing that sometimes accompanies hysteria). Luckily an employee heard me and having asked what on earth I was doing (‘trying to get to the pitta bread’ sounded a little weak I have to say), released me from the death grip of the pallets and handed me the pitta breads with a slightly disconcerted look.
The following week, the pallets were there again. Convinced that lightening (or pallets) couldn’t strike twice, I tried separating them to reach for the pitas and, surprise, surprise, I got trapped, got the giggles, got a bemused employee releasing me and got a bit embarrassed.
Two weeks after the initial death by Tesco incident I was walking towards the bread aisle as a Tesco employee hurtled out of nowhere shouting ‘Don’t touch the pallets… I’ll get your pittas’!
It’s good to be known. But maybe not quite so good to be known as ‘the girl with pallet issues’… I am hoping I can blend in a bit more at the shiny new version of the shop. Well, I can hope…