This Tuesday included a first visit from the community nurse.  Mum was referred to her when Sister 1 took her to have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate / respect form) put in place.  One of the first things the nurse confirmed was that Mum’s DNR had been put in place, but had been put ‘on the wrong part of the system’ which meant nobody could actually access it.  So that was good 🙄.

The nurse asked lots of questions.  Dad and I mostly answered them.  I think the nurse realised pretty fast that this would not be her average house visit.  She said (between gasps of laughter) that most people are a bit broken, disillusioned and very grumpy by the time she is brought in.  I assured her we were all of those things, but dipped in a serious amount of hysteria in an attempt to keep it all together.

At some point in the conversation we realised that we might as well do two for the price of one and Dad was also added to her list.  Dad has a DNR through the hospice, but we had no clue if that had made it on the right place on any system and we don’t have a printed copy of it for the house (which apparently you should), so the lovely nurse said she’d just do one for Dad too.  We went over the questions quickly until…

‘Would you want advanced life support or ventilation?’

Dad answered slowly and the nurse started writing as though taking dictation…

‘Yes, if I am half way through a book….it does worry me a bit that I might die half way through a good book and never know the ending. ‘ (Dad is a voracious reader).

Part way though the dictation the nurse looked up trying to get the right facial expression in response to this, but mostly smiling widely.

So we’ve agreed that should Dad get really poorly at some point , we’ll pop him on life support until I can finish reading the book to him. We’ve also agreed no War and Peace or Pillars of the Earth for that reason.

We have a slightly (very?) black sense of humour in our family these days 🙂

(And here’s a bit of Mum, keeping it real…)