You might have read a few posts ago that Mum was recently rescued from a hedge while on the little walk she does regularly.  As this is something that is more likely rather than less likely to happen in the future I had a bit of a think about options of how to manage it best.  There is no GPS or mobile signal on the walk at all (I tested it with various trackers) so that’s no an option so more old school methods were needed.

So I called my amazing friend (Gorgeous Godson’s Mum) who used to live in the same village and whose parents still do, and we had a chat about it.  And then I ran past Dad what we thought might be a plan and – even though I didn’t want to for so many reasons –  this is what I did…

I created this flyer / wanted poster / if found, please return to note:

If found, please return to…

This is [Mummy W]:

She lives at [address]:

[map]

She had a stroke a few years ago that has significantly impaired her ability to communicate, and she also has dementia.

She also likes walking from her house to the playing field between XXX Lane and XXX Lane.

Recently her legs have started hurting while she is walking and she is getting a bit more confused in day to day life.

We aren’t able to stop her going walking on her good days (she is a stubborn old goat and would just escape anyway!) and I’m not sure it would be right to at this point, but we do have a concern that she might get too muddled to get home one day.

Should you see Mum wandering, could you either point her in the direction of her house or give my Dad (xxx) a call [XXX] .  He has breathing issues so can’t walk with her but in most instances will be able to get in the car to her.

Alternatively, I am on [XXX]  I live in Brighton, but can contact other family or friends more local if needed.

Thank you very much.  They say it takes a village to raise a child.  In this instance I think it might take a village to look out for one of its older folk.

And I took it to two places.

First – the village community shop.  It is literally the only shop in the village and I figured if I found someone who is lost, it might be the first place I’d check to see if they knew anything.  So they have a flyer behind the till for staff to be able to help out if needed.  I was worried there would be some judgement when I explained  what I was asking but the ladies there were so nice.  Mum used to volunteer there and actually one of the ladies knew who she was and that she’d been in with a friend last Friday for toast and marmalade…

And second, Amazing Friends Mum who has regular lunch meet ups with a small group of local ladies.  I went to have a chat with her and we decided I’d emailed her the flier so that she can email it around to them.

Dad has asked me to put something similar together to go in Mums pocket too, so that’s the next step (although I think we might have to wait for coat weather as she’s not going to take that willingly and we might have to place it by stealth!)

So now we have a kind of Neighbourhood (MummyW) Watch, even though she is unaware of it.  It’s made me so happy to know people are willing to help out.

And that’s one of the reasons for this post.  The more I read and research, the more I understand that openness in situations like this is pretty much the only way forward – to get understanding, to build a community and in this case, create an understanding safety network.  And yes, Mum of a few years ago would have been horrified if she’d known this was to come, but Mum of today needs to be safe and understood, and it’s only by talking about this, being honest and asking for support that we can build that for her and for others.

So, if you are in a similar situation, don’t be afraid to talk, or to ask for help for yourself of the people you care for; it keeps doors open that might otherwise be forced to close. 🙂