The first few years of stepmum-ing were pretty awful.

There.  I said it.  I know you’re not supposed to, and yes, there were some good times, but mostly it was the absolute hardest thing I have done.  I get on with kids.  I ran kids holiday clubs in the canary islands. I used to be a nanny.  I am a therapist to children and teens but step mumming was one of the the steepest learning curves I may have ever been on.

Six years ago Mr R and I moved into this house  and I guess that’s when I became a stepmum.  I married himself a year and a half ago, so that’s when it because official, but it was six years ago that the boys and I started to spend time together in the same house on a regular basis.

I’m not sure exactly when it was that the Younger R (now 14) decided he would not call me ‘Pog’ as the Older R (now 18) did.  Younger R’s nickname for me was ‘Evil stepmum’.

It was partly a joke…I think.

But something amazing happened this Christmas.  To cut a very long story short, we were on our way back from staying with their grandparents and realised the boys might make it to a football match they thought they’d have to miss, if we dropped them off at the stadium on the way back.  And then we realised they wouldn’t miss too much and Himself could go too, if we drove home and swapped cars (I can’t drive Mr Rs without a bit of a practice worm up owing to it being like a tank) and I drove them all in the Pogmobile.  The challenge was on!

We got home, threw ourselves out of one car, popped Percy in his den and jumped in the Pogmobile (think Batman and Robin, Starsky and Hutch here….) and I drove like the clappers to the stadium *

About two thirds of the way there the Younger R announced it:

‘I’ve just given you a promotion:  You’re not evil stepmum anymore; you’re badass stepmum’.

I nearly burst with happiness.  Until the next day where I was gravely informed that relegation is always a possibility… But for now, I’m still on a high :o)

And the Older R?  It was never quite a delicate, but things have changed there too.  This year he chose their card to me:

And I could not stop laughing.  It’s my sense of humour completely and not many people get it, but he does.  We must be getting on ok for that to be the case, right?

So in amongst the blog there will be stepmum posts (I’ve asked both the R’s if this is ok and they said yes.  Actually the Younger R said he’d like me to make him famous through it, but I have reset expectations there a little…).  Because this feels like something else that should be part of a Middle Muddle Life Manual and I can’t blimin’ find what I’ve looked for, so if someone else gets something from this, then that is another win :o)

*’drove like the clappers’ is a little enthusiastic –  no speed limits were even approached as the Pogmiobile doesn’t like to transport more than one person and cocker spaniel unless it’s going downhill – it just felt like we were moving practically at the speed of light.