I’ve done some scary things in my time. My volunteer work in the Philippines was pretty scary. Learning to scuba dive (and throw up underwater as a result of the panic attacks it induced) was rather hairy and almost every outing I ever made with my wig, Bradley wasn’t exactly a picnic. But this step mum thing? Lordy.
I don’t know if you ever tried to keep something fed, watered, alive, happy and maintain a balance of friendly but not a walkover and provide boundaries but not so many they don’t like you, and be ok about being woken before 6am at the weekend, but for someone who lived alone for over a decade just over a year ago, it’s a bit of a juggling act that has you constantly questioning your sanity.
I mean, parents get a bit of a build up to all this. Step parents get thrown in with fully formed small people who have their own personalities and views on life and have to play years worth of catch up, like it or not.
The Boys (or ‘Da Boyz’ as Little Pea refers to them) did scare me for a while. I desperately wanted them to like me. And eat their vegetables. And not tell their Mum that I was a horrible person. But somewhere in the last few weeks it’s got a bit more relaxed and last night I thought we’d probably peaked when:
- Bigger Boy awarded me 9.5/10 for dinner (I lost the 0.5 for providing curly pasta, as opposed to the preferred REALLY curly pasta)
- Smaller Boy hugged me goodbye, telling me that he’d miss me as he wouldn’t see me until Friday.
I had a lump in my throat and slightly glisten-y eyes, because it doesn’t really get better than that, does it?
Actually, it does. This morning my phone beeped to signal an entirely unprompted text from Smaller Boy:
Da Boyz (and their grandparents – gulp) will be with us this weekend and Monday, but I wasn’t sure if this weather related news was considered as good, bad, or something I needed to fix. I plumped for:
Which, thankfully, seems to have been the right answer.
I think, in the way you often hear that ‘only parents will understand’, this is one that maybe only steparents will understand. You will understand how much my tummy is smiling over the last 24 hours.
Norman thinks Smaller Boy is a good one too. He’s rarely been in Da Boyz room, but today I found him here:
It looks like we’re all starting to get used to this different family set up :o)
(Although it could be a different story after the long weekend!)