Professional Pog tried. Professional Pog failed.

Hooray! I have done my first week – well, four days – in my new job and they’ve not said they’re getting rid of me yet. All other aspects haven’t gone quite to plan though.

You know I was going shopping for work clothes last Friday? Well, it was a nice day, and being nearly June all the clothes I bought were summer clothes. On Tuesday, most of the South East of Engand was drenched, me included. I started smart:

But arrived at work with a waterline on my lovely new trousers around each calf and I didn’t warm up again until Wednesday evening (and that was only because I went for a run wearing far too many layers just so I could get warm). As well as my waterline I realised mid morning that my fly was undone and I still had a label attached to the inside of my left leg.

Day 2, I didn’t bother with my nice new clothes. I put on jeans and my (literally) sparkly new trainers:

I did change into some boots that double as stilts when I got to the office and looked very much like a man in drag for most of the day as I can only walk in them for 10 minutes in any 24 hour period. I did attempt professionalism though and decided to introduce myself to someone sitting near me I’d not yet spoken to. I introduced myself with a handshake, my name and my job title (which includes the words ‘Senior’, ‘Communications’ and ‘Specialist’). He told me his name which was definitely not English. I asked where he was from. He said Norway. I asked if there were any other Norwayish people on our floor. He looked at me strangely. I realised my error and asked if there was a better word than ‘Norwayish’. He said (not smiling) ‘Norwegian’. I wished I’d not told him my job title and hobbled away.

Later on my desk had to be raised as clearly its previous owner was a hobbit and I couldn’t get my knees under. As I so rarely wear heels I took them off so the height could be set right. I then got asked to join a meeting in the seating area in the middle of the office and rushed over. And half way through the meeting realised the only thing on my feet were my penguin socks.