Magical Mystical shorts – the middle

OK, so the claim of the magical mystical shorts is that, if you wear them for 30 minutes, 3 times a week while exercising, in two weeks you’ll drop two dress sizes.

I have worn my shorts 4 times in the last weeks – two 15 mile bike rides and two 10 mile bike rides. I’ve cycled fast too (mainly because I seem to be so busy at the moment, I don’t have time to take it easy.

And so it was with huge excitement that I got my tape measure out and discovered that…let me just double check…it would seem that I have actually GAINED ½ inch on my hips (all other measurements remained the same unless I cheated and sucked my tummy in). How the hell? Even using the argument of the rather pious Evening standard reporter who reviewed these exact shorts last week (‘Id rather forgo that…second helping’ – that approach is too late for some of us, love), I should have lost something. Her view was clever marketing + lots of sweating + stupid people = loss off fluid and therefore body mass. She did concede that short term you’d see results. And that was ok, I thought. I could just wear the shorts every time I exercised and I’d stay permanently 2 dress sizes smaller and everything would be rosy at Pog Towers.

But no. Apparently the magical mystical shorts don’t work for me. I told mum. When she stopped her snorting with laughter she pointed out exactly what had already dawned on me. ‘Have you been eating more because you had the shorts?’ she asked.

Oh arse. I had treated myself to some croissants earlier in the week. And I had eaten all of my weeks chocolate stash in two days (and then replaced it so I could ignore what I had done). And I may have snaffled an extra biscuit or two. But I thought that the shorts would compensate. It would seem not. So now I’m not back at square one. I’m at square minus one…

This week I’ll make more of an effort, honest. As Sister 1 pointed out tonight ‘No, it’s not your shoes that make you look fat,’ (I had just made that claim) ‘it’s the chocolate.’ And she has a point… :o)

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