Prepare to fall off your chair. Last night I went on a date. I know…me! And I know it was a date because I checked with him. Well, I didn’t want to assume anything and it could have just been a drink (which apparently is just a boy/boy thing. A girl/boy drink is what constitutes a date. I don’t actually agree with this definition but last night it was all such a novelty I wasn’t about to argue).
Obviously there were a few small issues, so for all you single ladies out there I thought a list of Pog-Don’ts-on-First-Dates may be useful. (For those of you coupled up, be grateful you can laugh without having to take notes!) So:
- Don’t admit to date that you couldn’t remember what he looked like and that you’d actually approached someone else at the place you’d agreed to meet…
- Don’t ask date if he has slept with any Eastern European prostitutes as if he has you might as well get it out the way now (this was based on the date-from-hell a while back when the bloke felt it necessary to list all the Eastern European countries he had visited brothels in. Really. And yes, the date-from- hell finished at that point).
- When date goes to the toilet, resist the urge to have a quick scan through the Evening Standard you just picked up. It is possible that the ink will transfer to your fingers and then your face, prompting a ‘what on earth did you do to your face?’ from date on his return (What you did to your face, it turns out, is disguise yourself as a cross between Alice Cooper and a panda).
Despite the above, date (amazingly) didn’t run for the hills. It would seem he had a sense of humour. That or he was so stunned he just couldn’t move. Thinking about it, it’s probably the latter but hey ho, it made a nice change from Monday night TV…:o)